I think I am really getting old. was having my breakfast when my friend msged me to accompany him to lunch with the other pple--just because he wasn't close them and hence felt awkard. haha I didn't really know them too altho everyone was fr physio. when I got there and someone tried to intro her bf, she forgot my name. haha. oh well. had a greentea smoothie at j-cafe. I reckon the place's pretty good but I was too full to have lunch. anyway, left halfway to accompany my sis to sth melb to take some pics. it was just a small little town. then we came bk to the city and I went shopping. sadly, didn't fancy anything to buy back=( had wanted to go 4 retail therapy but...hmm. was thinking of going to my sis's cell tonight. however, when I got bk, i was kinda lethargic so I just bummed in for the night. I hope the night's good=P Suddenly I feel so jaded with everything. I think too much. way too much. I need to control my thoughts. I feel so tired even though I slept for abt 11 hrs last night...hehe this morn was supposed to meet a friend to have breakfast tog but she was busy after abt 10 so we cld only meet in the morn--830am. ended up too early so we decided to call it off. next time, hopefully=) I've been eating way too much! this whole week's been chocolatey-filled and boy am I getting fat. To side-track, I really wish he will msg me=(

as always...

I chanced upon a book in my sis's room abt singlehood. it's a christian book and it turned out pretty interesting. while I was reading it, I seem to comprehend the scriptings but right now at this very moment, I just wonder if I can really relate to that. I just wonder what is wrong with me?

once I had an innocent crush on him then gradually after not seeing him for a long while, the feeling just ebbed away. THEN, i just crushed without knowing him, as always. NOW, i get to know him a little better and i realise that he is like a brother who i never had before. the hardest thing is trying to control my feelings and treat him just like another friend. sometimes, i wonder if God just made me someone who had too much feelings, too much emotions. pple say, fighting it is hard, so am i just supposed to succumb to my feelings? I know i can't because i don't want to and i know i will just end up broken-hearted once again, as always. As always. why oh why?...
sleepy. maybe i am just drunk. maybe i just have an imbalance of raging hormones. maybe i just can't help falling in love...

Oh God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and wisdom to know the diffference...

baking choc chip muffin now!=) my 1st time baking it all by myself! usu i am the assistant when my mum bakes lah...

hehe...gonna bake for my sis's cell=) hope it turns out good. betty crocker yum...I haven't really tried it before except once think. hmm some BC choc cake or sth like that...

nice day. supposed to rain but it didn't. or maybe it hasn't...

hehe choc covered fingers. baking is so fun=)

I slept till 1130 today=P have been waking up really early for the last couple of days. today I think I dreamt hence I woke up late...weird dreams occupy my head. at least they are not raunchy though...

Practically wasted my whole day today. had lunch, went to walk walk then came back and rotted. listened to music on my laptop until I fell asleep for 1 1/2 hrs then I just lay down, recollecting the events from the trip and watched the price is right. sian diao. Just felt like sitting there and doing nothing. I think too much. way too much. really don't know what else I can do. don't feel like studying. blah. =_=

It was one of my best trips that I ever had in oz. =) Thank the Lord=)

Well it was an eventful trip and not all was unpleasant. nevertheless, it is amazing how much someone can grow and get to know God more in a matter of 2 1/2 days. We visited 3 beaches, had a couple of lunches on 2 different beaches, went hiking, had prayer sessions, play tabletennis, got to know the pple better, went sight-seeing during the road journeys, had a breathtaking view at the peak of mt bishop. =)

I learnt that even as christians, not all the journey is smooth-sailing. in fact, there was one point of time when the police and toll-truck had to be called. the good thing was that no one was injured in the car accident. it felt traumatic. although I wasn't in that car, it was just something that everyone cld feel something in common. we prayed together, we thanked the Lord for no casualities and we supported each other through the low times. what happened was the driver of one of the 3 cars fell asleep on the wheel on the way back from squeaky beach and apparently he swerved left, right then into a shallow muddy swamp and the car was caught in a (thankfully) small tree with branches. (we cldn't imagine what wld have happened had it been a lamppost or a stout and sturdy big tree) then smoke started bellowing out from the bonnet of the car. everyone was worried abt igniting the engine again, lest the car blew up. so 1 car spent the evening in the SHIVERING cold waiting for the police and toll-truck to arrive while another group was driven back to the house. it was qte an experience. but it felt comforting to know that everyone was standing together as 1. that God was watching over us and not allowing us to get hurt.

I learnt abt friendship, compromise (there were some hiccups between my sis and i) and abt getting to know God. I had a sudden urge to cry that night (the 2nd night) when the incident happened. everyone (or maybe just me) was trying to make sense of what just happened. one of the down sides was that the car that crashed wasn't the driver's. The driver had lent us her dad's car and she wasn't part of the trip with us. Hence, i wasn't easy telling her first-hand abt the accident. anyway, I am really really thankful that all of us had fun during the trip and personally, I felt that it was an extremely meaningful one indeed. I feel that right now I have cemented a closer bond with God and I really look forward to getting to know more and more everyday =)

there were 15 of us, 6 girls and 9 guys and there was only one original melb-born local. I must admit that she is one of the nicest local I have ever met so far=) I had a great time chatting and stunning with her abt the unbendingly strict policies and rules of NY (-_-") while I listened for my first time abt her high sch here and what she did. it was really nice. the 2 of us stood at the balcony and just admired the stars and listening to the waves in the distance amongst the bushes. it was cloudy night so the stars were playing hide and seek, peeking out once in a while. was a little disappointed that I didn't get to see any shooting stars. (my sis did on her last trip to port philip!!!=X) but I guess there's always another chance to watch it right? something to look forward to.

squeaky beach is indeed the coolest beach i've been to. the sand really squeaks. it's as if walking on the cement floor with sport shoes--that kind of squeaking=P)

Ah. had an unhealthy lunch=P

went to greco at crown and had erm...lots of food=) happy food that won't exactly last for long...hehe...

sis, shirl, sarah went market in the morn and came bk and decided to go 4 brunetti but upon arrival, we realised that the food was limited, so we went to crown instead.

4 of us shared a rocky road (which was sooooooooooooo rich=p) , a mango-passion fruit cheesecake (cheese was sooooooooooo rich too) and a coffee tiramisu. hmm...they were really good. my first time at greco's =X took me qte a long time to try it I know...=P anyway...been eating alot. hmm getting fat. =X but the weather's good today. city was crowded. beautiful day. great company=)

can't eat dinner already!

amen=)

I had 2 sweet dreams last night. But when I woke up, I was partially disappointed (thankful?-don't know) that they were only dreams...makings of my own imaginations.

I dreamt that I was walking in takashimaya alone. I was walking in the cold storage, the food area...then when I came out to the exhibition part...I met 2 good friends in my life. 1 from my pri and sec sch but different classes...another only from my sec class. They were walking tog and seemed to be very good friends. In reality, I don't think they know each other though. Anyway, brief words were exchanged and we went our separate ways. Then at the exhibition, this lady was looking for some white thread to fix some clothing but she cldn't find it. Then I remembered that there was 1 arts shop upstairs, so I led her and her husband upstairs. To my horror, I realised that the place is significantly different. That whole area was a jap restaurant. I felt melancholic. Anyway, the lady told me that they were from papua new guinea. Haha. But they were asians. I don't even know where that place is. Then I was looking at the directory for the arts shop and I realised that I haven't had my end of yr exams yet. So what was I doing in sg? Then I thought maybe I was there for only 1 week...then I had to fly back soon. Whatever it was...it felt surreal. It really felt as if I was at orchard rd...

another dream I had before this was...I think some intern doctor was practising on me. My friend was beside me. Anyway, I think I thought the doc was very nice and amiable and I felt as though I just made a new friend, if not sparks were almost flying. hahahaR...Haiz...dreams dreams dreams...

Was tossing and turning last night I think because I was sick. =X had a warm drink and felt a little better today...I do hope I will recover soon=)

hehe...darn the nostalgia is growing stronger by the min as I kickstart my day with class 95. =]

sadly, sometimes self-delusion will not suffice. hehe. >_<
is it a good thing that tear glands dry up?

Being overly friendly scares me...

I reckon being overly friendly scares the hell out of me.

Today my prac tutor was at it AgAIn. 1st I was lying face down into the hole for the face to put, waiting for my massage (which my friend happened to suck at...I cldn't feel a damn thing...=( ) then the tutor came along when I was in a prone position and I was closing my eyes for a split sec. when I opened it, I saw through the hole and saw his feet. Then I looked up and he was standing right in front of me with his hand outstretched and just above my head--not touching my head though.

Then when I looked up, he said excitedly "I have healing hands!!!..." hahaA...then I asked him how does it work?! then he showed me his palm and put it abt 3cm away from my forehead and said "I don't know how it works...some pple just have healing hands!" well apparently he was trying to 'wake me up'...and he succeeded because I looked up (duh) and he was just joking abt the healing hands thingy. Man...this guy creeps the hell outta me.

Oh then he was at singapore AGAIN. AGAIN.
He said..."you are from singapore right? "(Haiz...Yes...)--this is the freaking 4th time he asked me. then he said there was this regulation that pple have to dance on the table and stuff...I really didn't know what the heck he was talking abt. then he said what it's been there for 8mths...blah blah blah...I seriously have no idea what he was saying...so I just said I don't know...and I haven't been to...(was abt to say pub) then he just cut me off. hehee...I think I was very mean but not even asking what he was saying haha..but really...I cldn't get into the conversation because I was clueless abt it.

Anyhow...He's weird. Seriously. Throughout the prac class...(today prac was different...we had to rotate to be pts and physios while in a circle ard the room) anyway...he took this kid's skateboard and was literally skating ard the room. Man...a deprived childhood. J/k. I've nv been on one b4. Anyway...I cldn't stop laughing...Imagine a what, 30+ 40 odd year old man skating on the skateboard...he was pretty amused by the paraphenalia. And he actually went almost full speed across the 2 rooms (we had 2 rooms opened up for us today). Haha. 1st time I've seen a tcher on a skateboard. Let alone a 40 year-old man. hahaaR........So corny.

Oh and my sis forgot to return me my umbrella after she borrowed it. Like wth. I usually bring it to sch everyday. And it just so happened that it rained today and I didn't have it with me. Thankfully, I had a jacket with a hood on...so...I just hope I don't fall ill. Oh and almost everyone tells me that the beach I am going to is fabulous (I hope...*fingers crossed!!*) Usually, I get disappointed when I've got my hopes too high...actually ALWAYS. Thus, I have decided to not expect anything great from all this. Afterall, I will be utterly shattered if it turns out to be nothing like what I imagined it to be...=P

Seriously, my prac tutor freaks me out...Very much...=P
I think if he ever asks me if I'm from sg again...I will just GiVe up and faint. haha.

where is everyone?

My eyeslids are heavy and droopy.
I feel short of breath because of my stupid flu. (I do hope I will recover by tonight)
I wonder where everyone is. They're not answering the calls.
I hope my tutor will be nice today and won't make us stand out 1 by 1 to demonstrate or ans questions.
I want to sleep now.
I've got left arm muscle weakness. (and I'm beginning to worry)
Stroke is scary.
I keep getting pins and needles in my legs.
I feel lerthargic and restless.
I am inclined to take drugs that will perk me up and increase euphoria.
I just had honey dew bubble tea.
It was nice but now I feel sleepy.
I am groggy as I type on the keyboard.
My left arm's not improving.
I've got bad sitting posture and my back hurts.
My eyes are a little teary and eyelids weak.
I feel disoriented.
I've got slow reflexes.
I think I hear my tutor emerging from his office.
I am reluctant but
I think I got to go for prac now...

In the lib now. the comp lab in physio blding is teeming with pple queuing up desperately to print the assignment cover sheet. hmm. union hse and everywhere else is deserted. for once, there is no one else except me at athe computer terminals in this lib. today is my last day of sch.

I was 85% sure I wasn't coming in for pbl today=P just being a bummer. Had slept at abt 1.45am and had to wake up at 6.15am. =P hehe anyhow, I am proud that I made it to this morning class. Was thinking, I didn't wanna ruin my hols by missing out on a class the last day of sch. So, here I am. Well. Long story. I set my 2 alarm clocks at abt 6.20am last night (as always). then I cldn't sleep, thinking if I don't go for the morning tut today my sis wld nag and yank me out of bed if she found me still sleeping in my bed when she wakes up. (sux). And when I finally set my mind up on sleeping in, I decided to set one of my alarms at 9am and the off the other one...I WAS GOING TO SLEEP IN.

However, when I woke up at abt 4.50am to ans the call of nature, I actually set the 'off-ed' one back to 6.30am. A little later, but still did switch it on. I told myself, if it rang and I went back to sleep. That wld be it. I was going to sleep in. I WAS. But then in the morn, the alarm clock beeped for a while before I woke up and when I did, I lay in bed for a while and I cldn't get back to sleep. wth. THEREFORE, I decided to go to sch.

haha. interesting how someone contemplates playing truant and inevitably ended up resigning to her fate =P

anyway, nearly 5hrs of sleep. Surprised that I am still going on. =

in the morn, was strolling to sch (even though I was late =X) and was surprised to find others strolling too. haha. It was prob 5 past and yup pple were slowing filing into the blding. I reckon it must be the essay that everyone tried to stay up for last night. Thus, the sleeping in, the late coming.

During tut...
the tutor wanted us to explain the mechanism of the patient's whiplash to 'her'. He did it in a circle as usual. I got the ball rolling (involuntarily) and I told 'her' that 'her' injury may have caused some muscles, ligaments and discs injury at the Cx. Then after the whole group finished in a circle, the tutor said that we shldn't that the pt that she had injury of those structures. Then what? Lie to her meh?...coz I said "we can't rule out any structures causing her pain as yet..." So obviously I had to tell her what MIGHT have caused her pain right? Blah. I know I am making a fuss. anyway...he's always like that anyway. picky and stuff. today he told us his wife was going for her 2nd US scan so he had to leave his hp on. And it was pretty annoying initially, how his hp kept beeping with smses and calls. Then when the 1st sms came from his wife, someone asked if it was his first child. then he read from his hp and replied "it's 6.4cm long and has a healthy heartbeat" hehe. 6.4cm long kid. That's qte amazing, don't you think so? embryology and the development. It's a bloody tough topic to study tho...=X

sleephead. 2 hr lect and 1 prac in the afternoon. I am abt doze off soon.

House was a swell episode last night. I haven't been watching lately but because I had a late dinner last night, I just switched on the tv. He is 1 amusing doctor=) Very, very amusing and comical indeed.

wth. he is MIA again. Haiz. It may be another 4 mths before he resurfaces again. I don't think I care that much anymore. I wanna sleep and go to the beach now. haha.

I shall stop complaining for a day. not that my day's been good or anything...
Sometimes I think I feel jaded with complaining too. It's just that the drudgery of things, of pple pissing you off. you know what I mean.

anyway...I FINISHED MY ESSAY!.....man...it's the not the greatest I know. But I am glad to finish it. It's taking it's toll on me. Bad enough that my hols haven't started...I've still got an essay to hand in...

On a light note (a really light note=) )...I am on the clouds!=P haha...okie-dokz...I am going away on a trip!!! On a...bEaChHouSE!!!!!!!! man...I am *excited*=) All I am looking forward to in the 3 days 2 nights is the beachhhhhhh...........the sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset...heheee...I am a beach fanatic. perhaps nth much in life can interest me than a BEACH!!!...haha >_- lalala...

hMm. today. Hot. Sux. Period. hehe so many pple on the streets today. And I was running off to the lib in the afternoon. A futile effort. wth. the lib didn't have that book, I cldn't find it but they left it as 'available'. hence a fruitless trip down to the lib. In a hot weather. Anyhow...I finished my essay. Can't stop emphasizing. Now I can dream abt my trip down to the BEACHHHHH!...haha I am so high now. Spent 1 freaking afternoon on touching up my essay. Bloody. haha...ok...have to stop cursing...I am going to...eR...dream. tata~~~

squeaky beach here I come!=)

Heal the world
make it a better place
for you and for me

hmm...a MJ song that is erm...at least 13 years old?=P

I love you just the way you are=)

It is a very heart-warming phrase, don't you think so?=)

Tomorrow is another journey that I will set asail.

Tomorrow is another uncertainty.

Night! Sweet dreams! =)

I am almost there ='(

The moon is spectacular tonight. Can actually see it creep slowly from the back from the building to being more apparent. It looks like a flawless piece of art and a yellow hardboiled eggyolk. And I am actually on the verge of bursting out in tears.

Go ahead, taunt me. Laugh all you want :'(

If only I was watching it from home...I bet it is more amazing from home. If I were home now, I wld be eating mooncakes or watching tv or hopefully, spend my night at some garden. hehe=)

I recall how I used to play with lanterns. Paper ones-never had a plastic one. Those with noises and rotate are really annoying btw. haha. Remember how I wld play alone in the garden back in bk timah. Haha qte sad. Walked ard the whole garden back and forth with my lantern. Because my sisters never played with lanterns (with me) ahah. Okie, maybe except...once? =X Then I wld play with candles after the lantern was burnt out. How morbid. hehe. But it was great fun. Remember how we always had nyps mooncake festival night outs? yup...and I wld always see kids walk past my house with their parents on their way back from the nyps dinner and stuff. Something which I think I only attend once or maybe even never throughout my pri sch days. Those were the days...Gotta admit that we're old already...Can even a receding hairline now. hahaR...

Haiz...and back to reality. Here I am stuck in some freaking place where pple don't even know what mid-autumn festival is. What a vast difference and an eye-opener. hmm maybe not eye-opener. Eye-shutter maybe. Hehe. My 3rd year not celebrating MAF. Not that I celebrate it enthusiastically but it's the mooncake thing. Man. All the pig biscuits that I so love and the little baskets that come with it. haha I think I still got a pink one at home. Hanging at my doorknob right this very moment. If I am not wrong, I THINK it came with me from my bk timah home. Haha. I don't know. Hmm I remember my parents were always going to this ulu place amongst the HDB blocks-I don't know where and they were always buy mooncakes from this aunty who once said something which I cld never really fathom till this day. haha. When I was a kid, she told my mum that I had nice eyes. HahAR. HahHAR. er...HA HA. Maybe she just wanted my mum to buy more mooncakes? hehe maybe. Then these days, I have grown to enjoy ice-cream mooncakes from swensons and those flaky ones-sth like pong pia. So much variety. Have we gradually grown out of tradition? Yet change is the only constant. So it's inevitable??? Mooncakes. Cravings.

hmm...I wonder what all you guys are doing on mooncake festival...drop me a line yup?=) I bet all of you are stuffing your faces with yummy mooncakes now. Hehe or even holding some lantern...roaming the streets? haha...

To side-track, ny high's mooncake fests were in sch too. And we had free yummy (or maybe not) mooncakes. We had some class thingy then when we were in sec 2, my friend and I made a wish on MAF, I can't rem her wish, (prob same as mine haha) but it was to get to a triple science class in sec3! haha. 14 years old. Man. hehe. And now? My wish is to go home asap=)

I always wished that I cld spend a day at yu hua yuan or whatever you call that place, where all the beautiful lanterns are hung up high and all I know is that it's a haven with bright lights and everyone celebrating a chinese festival together apart from CNY. Everyone's elated; every kid with a lantern in hand. But sadly, I never went there. 1stly too far-jurong is it? don't even know where. haha. 2ndly, my parents never wanted to go. 3rdly, I didn't know who wld have wanna go. hehe. Today, I think I know who will wanna go with me=) But then snapping back to reality, right now I can't go with you...will you wait for me? hehe=P

F***ed up place. 43 more days.

Unleash the dancing queen in me. I am indeed a dancing maniac. I wanna go clubbing. With my bodyguard. haha. Any takers?=P

Hehe. I absolutely look forward to going home. bizarre behaviour of myself. Random words, haphazard thoughts, strange dreams. Know what? It's the essay. I shld be enjoying my hols now. Hurhur. I guess I am like gawking at the other me who shld be having hols now. Sadly, MY HOLS HASN'T STARTED YET. yet another freaking 1 week of sch for the meds and physios to mug when the rest of the uni are enjoying their hols. bloody.

btw, happy mid-autumn fest. I wish I cld celebrate too. =( I bet these pple don't even know chang er existed. halleluya. let the freakshow begin.

top 13 things in a guy...-just for entertainment. no offence intended.

top 13 things in a guy I cannot tahan. and I shld also add that it turns me off.

1) Childish kiddo guys aka guys who never grow up

- Guys who stand on ure right and tap on your left shoulder, expecting you to turn to your left. and once they start, don't expect them stop doing it in their lives. hello? do girls look stupid to you? -_-"
-Guys who giggle like a 5 year-old. THIS is absolutely a nightmare.

2) Guys who wear fur coats. EEEEWWW. It's just hideous ok? They look so gay. =X

3) Guys who wear short-sleeved shirts-whether with bicep chunks, flabs or stick-ky arms. You remind me of cao ah beng. Nothing more said.

4) Guys who smoke. Stop giving a "oh-look-at-me-I-am-so-cool" attitude when all of us know that you are just a time-bomb for lung carcinoma.

5) Guys who are chunkie...er...I mean hunky. whatever. It's pretty gross I reckon. They are just a constant reminder of what steriods and protein pills can do to you.

6) MCP aka male chauvanist pigs. They think they know everything and hence are so unreceptive and dismissive to ideas, esp that from a girl. To me, they are just big-headed craps whose 4/5 of their heads are vacuum.

7) Guys who enjoy crying. (esp those above 16 years-old) Ok, they didn't say that they like to cry but they did imply that it's ok to cry. Hmm...it is. But I don't mean THAT OFTEN!!!...(actually remember my friend's dad crying when my friend was about to go off to NS ) -_-"""

8) Guys who call so often for absolutely NOTHING. Eh...if you nothing better to do, don't waste handphone bill lah!!! *rolls eyes* Or even better, guys who sms you the crappiest, dumbest smses the world has ever invented.
eg. "Traffic Jam" PERIOD. Hello??!! Do I look like a traffic police or a traffic reporter to you? How the hell am I supposed to reply to that!!!!!!!!! "CONGRATS??" "WHY??" "Where?" The best part of this is that I don't even know how to drive.

9) Guys with PMS. They are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. Or when they are going to walk out on you.

10) Guys who burp and fart like nobody's business in front of girls. Let's admit it. That's utterly disgusting and irksome man.

11) Guys who don't wash hair. This is really really insanely gross I reckon. Last time there was this guy in my class who had like curled up hair-the twisted kind and once I was sitting beside him and when he turned with he back against me, I saw dandruff. LOTS and LOTS and dandruff and they were all over his shoulders. I freaked out. It's just groooosssss.....I was even afraid to breathe lah...u know why...=X

12)- unfaithful guys??? agree?? I wonder if they change their underwear/jeans that often.

13) Guys who are really really really fluent in mandarin (and with that accent). Oh man.......

Now now, any comments?

I am a party freak. Disco mania!=P

Counting down the days=)
Natalie imbruglia

44 days to nov.

overwhelmed.

I am a mean bitch :'(

Stop it. Stop ruining other's life if you can't cope with your own.

O god, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Is your tcher as FUNNY as mine?......=p

Some teachers are just like clowns =P
Today the pbl tutor knew abt our backstabbings against him and stuff and he was telling us that he wasn't an experienced tcher...blah blah blah then he asked us to give him suggestions on how to change and stuff. There were some good feedback I guess. The locals weren't afraid to speak up and tell him what was wrong. Then he added that if pple wanted to remain anonymous, they cld write notes and put in the letter box.

Then he said "if you think I Fucked up"...blah blah blah...then he said "nonoo...I don't mean write that down on the paper..." then everyone was qte shocked and started laughing. Actually I think he was pretty receptive to ideas. He admitted to giving us negative body language at times and owned up to not know certain things (ok most things) =P Then he started this joke abt don't write things like "CHANGE CAREER", "GIVE UP" and things. haha.
He's the 2nd tcher I've heard swear in front of a class. The 1st was from my sec sch tutor. Charlie Brown was a real looney.

Then it came to prac. Boy is my prac tutor a potential clown. =P I was asking him if I was doing the muscle length test for the upper cervical extensors correctly and he said yes.

Then he said "Let's see the m'sian style of upper cervical extensor test"
me: "singapore"
him: "oh...yeah I'll rem that" haha...
*then he mused for a while...*
him: "the desalination plant..."
me: "haha...yah"
him: "I heard it over the radio...newsradio...it's good...have you heard of it???"
me: "no."
him: "you shld hear it."
me: "haha...Okay..."

Then he did his rounds in class, observing other pairs work. And he came back and said to me:
him: "Yeah...I remember singapore."
me: haha...
him: "Is the main religion in singapore islam?...Because of the cresent moon on the flag"
me: *puzzled* "NO."
him: "so what does it represent???"
me: (I was like...speechless...) "Erm...er...I Don't Know. Brotherhood???" (haha)
him: "what do the stars represent???"
me: "er...er....."
(again speechless)..."I Don't Know."
(I was close to saying Honesty, integrity...blah blah blah...anything that came to my mind...but nah...I cldn't recall anything)
him: "when's singapore's national day?"
me: "9th August!!!"

As if FINALLY satisfied with my answer, he nodded and smiled and walked off. HahAHR...
I was like...Phew.....(what was that abt?!...)

My partner: "you shld go find out what the flag represents!!..."

OMG. The last time I ever did mention and study the flag was like...eRm...10 years ago???haha...Man...it's been a while, singapore=)

Fantastic weather today!=) Cold and things. Love this perfect weather. Had a glimpse of the gibbous moon on my way back and it was great. See this almost-round moon hung up in a corner of the clear babyblue sky like a leftover christmas ornament=) And on the other half of the sky, it was bombarded with whitish-grey clouds...A splendidly Beautiful sight!

The honks installed in the automobiles here are strange and so annoying. Heard a few variations and today there was one there goes "Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep..." and the honks always almost seem to never end. There was another one "beep beep-beep beep beep. Beep beep." as though it was some kind of melodic tune that resounds in my head. Geez. And there are some that really really gives a headache esp those that pierce through the silent darkness of the night and totally yanks you out of the bed just before you seep soothingly into the NREM phase of the sleep cycle. Hehe. =P

And THAT marks the end of my week!=D No more friday classes! Neuro ended last week so this week has been more slack. Only 1 hr of anatomy lect on mon mornings, wed, thurs unchanged. Tues, a few classes off and Yes...Friday off!!!=P hmm but i've got my assignment due in a week's time!!=p

Same old songs on the radio now. Just like in the morning. Hehe. Funny how I always get to listen to the songs twice. And no, it's not a repeat broadcast.

Being a glutton today. I bought a cha siew bao from union house. It was...Ok. Didn't expect much anyway. But I must say that it was one of the softest and 'integrated' baos that I've ever eaten in my life-meaning that it skin falls off so easily, just like the dead skin from that of an old lady's!=X
Was deciding whether to invest my cash in bubble tea or not when I realised that I lacked small change. Then I came across the bao and decided to settle for it purchase it=P Gluttony.

Man my back and neck is killing me. That's what you get when you've got your eyes tranfixed on the computer screen for an assignment. Argh. VMO sux. The knee sux. It's just one of those things that are really debilitating when you've got it screwed up. I get so distracted by things that it's qte hard to really sit down and type at my essay.

class95 is a good companion though=) the love songs really rock. A variation from the usual (by now sucky) mix fm. The songs repeat and repeat until...until they suck lah =P

Long day tmr! -_-"

I had my evening walk. Not much of a walk but it was nice. The foldable beach chairs when wet so I had to stand all the way =P

My sis's freaking gay friend is here (again) -_-"

Deep aching pain

The pain is so immense that my eyes became wet for a second there.

I really miss home.

Home is where the heart is. It's really hard. Really, really hard. Think happy thoughts. but what if all of the trophied thoughts are from home? It's been a long long time since I last smile from the bottom of my heart. I can't name 1 specific thing that I miss so much at home. Maybe that's the very essence of nostalgia. Not knowing what you actually miss. Everything, perhaps. Everything. Everything seems to just fall into place (even if they don't) when I am at home. Somehow all my fears are conquered when I am at home.

It's painful. It really is. :'( Missing and longing so much for something. Yet the only thing that we can do is wait. Wait and see what happens.

Read on if you dare...

Yo! It's consoling to snuggle in the world of the typical singaporean lahs and lors again=) --in case you're wondering...from the radio=)

Today, my friend said I didn't have C2 (the spinal cord) because she cldn't palpate it! Haha. That doesn't mean I don't have!!! haha. Anyway, she said I looked like a dead fish when I flexed my neck for her to find c7. LOL. Dead fish.

Had an electro test today. Blah. Didn't know how to do it.

Last night I lay in bed dreaming abt the wonderful times I had when I went home. I miss seeing my dad crane his neck at the airport terminal while we waited impatiently for the conveyor belts to load our luggages and I miss how my mum and I wld peek nervously at the crowd for a familiar small frame. I miss having to stride out of the automatic sliding glass doors with a big wide smile in my heart and face and being greeted by anxious fellow singaporeans anticipating their loved one's arrival. I miss having to see my dad's face light up as he willingly and eagerly take over the trolley full of our baggages as we proceed to the car. I miss bumming ard in the volkswagen and watching the stars from the overhead glass panel and watching the scenery of HDBs and road-side trees go by as the car speeds past during the night =) That is one of the most heartwarming events that I experience each time (thrice) when I go home...I miss having so much to talk to my family abt and listen to them when we're on the roads on the way home. I miss having to see the car reverse into the driveway as my sis pisses off and flares up because my dad starts nagging abt how she has to watch her right and left side mirrors cautiously before she steers into the dark driveway. I miss having my parents help to strenously unload the heaps of luggages from the car booth onto the car pouch. I miss having to hear Rocky sniff curiously from under the intervals of the door. I miss having to be the first to open the door to the doggie-odour-filled living room and have doggie pounce excitedly ard my feet and wanting me to carry him and sayang him. Does he even know that we've been away for 9mths? Maybe not. Maybe the time zone in doggie is different from us. He probably thought that we were away for 1/2 hr and just got back from our evening post-dinner walks;) I miss switching on the tv (yeah my parents' got a new tv!!!=D ) and watching my dad sprawl comfortably on his sofa which is now so devoid of a decent spongy base for resting our asses. And how he wld fiddle with the remote control just to get the right channel of the shi2 dian3 xin1 wen2 on channel 8--either chen xiuling, zeng yueli or dong suhua=) Then as I pry open the fridge, boy am I animated to see a fridge stocked up with ample food for the family for next 3-4 days. My dad wld always ALWAYS go shopping at the local ntuc a couple of days before just to welcome us with food, glorious food=) And upon entering my room...ALAs! my heaven for the past 3-5 years. The specklessly clean pink comforters spread over the newly washed brown-beige sheets collected after a day's sun of shining and warming in the backyard. My previously vacant dressing table will now be strewn with all sorts of accessories. Another highlight: Digging out my singapore sims card from my old handphone and inserting it carefully into my nokia 8310. The next best thing: When I will start smsing and bugging pple with "Hey! I'm back!=D"........................................haha

Then the next few weeks wld be packed with yumcha sessions and lunch appointments- from my dad's saved up vouchers. haha =D ...

hell I am still here. 47 more days to nov.

I miss home.

Listen to my ramblings...

I am so full. Just came back from a yum cha session at dragonboat palace. Yup, the 'interaction session' for the international and local 2nd yrs. Not everyone was present though. We had 3 tables in the restaurant...each table maybe 10 pple so...all in all abt 30 odd pple. We tried to mix among ourselves but it was kinda sad case. 3 caucasians at my table, 1 table clearly dominanted by the locals and the late internationals had no choice but to settle for there. Sadly. And another table full of the internationals and abt 3 locals-but the whole table were asians. Pretty forlorn I'd say but I guess it was good effort at least trying to mingle.

This local was sitting beside me and boy are the locals amusing. The 2 of them at my table freaked out with the 'chicken feet' dish and they REFUSED to eat. Same goes for the 'cow stomach' which I reckon was a delicacy. It tasted good=) Anyhow, the girl manage to pluck up courage after a long time and eat the chicken feet. What's so scary abt chicken feet man? Oh the guy said the cow stomach (it looks like 'zhu1 du3'=pig stomach) looks like the skin of the scrotum. He is damn gross. Apparently, these couple of pple have never been to yum cha before and as our table decided to go for "Eat all you can" (for $16.80...with the kind of food we had...it's qte good...wide variety and stuff I think it'll probably sum up to $30). Anyway, initially, the guy grabbed the whole plate of "chee cheong fan" and put it in front of him, somehow like an ala carte thingy, or so he thought. It was funny. He had intended to eat the whole plate himself. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, but bossy me just taught him how to eat it. =X abt how we had to spin the table and take food we wanted. =X so he put the chee cheong fan back and everyone cld eat it=) haha. I hope I wasn't being mean or anything...coz nobody said anything!!...and I've never seen anyone take 1 whole plate to himself. Then again, it was none of my biz so maybe I shldn't have said anything.

These pple are really extremely amusing. This girl was so doubtful of the 'dao huey' for dessert that she had to think sooooooooooo long before she decided to pick up her spoon and dip it into the tofu. And she went "it's like so wobbly" and stuff. Erm...It's ONLY TOFU?.....what do you expect?=P What's so scary abt tofu!!!...Then this gay boy at my table was teasing the local guy abt how the mango pudding he was eating had cow stomach in the middle and the local actually believed him. "........................" and he totally freaked out, I bet he almost cldn't finish what he was eating. Then the girl who was sitting beside me asked me if she cld use her hands to eat the 'cha siew bao1' coz apparently they weren't very good at chopsticks. Haha. Amusing at what these pple dare not eat. I thought they were always so daring and stuff. They eat kangaroos and rabbits!...but not cow or pig insides? HUH?...and...the girl said how her grandma used to cook sheep's brain for her. Damn. I really love the pig insides...=) Oh the other girl was saying how pple cooked starfish and ate them...(I think it wld taste good) but she looked really really scared at the thought of it. Haha. It's really funny man =P

And I am still sooooooooooo full. Gain a pound just from that lunch I reckon. =P

I am a vainpot lah. =X I just loveeee playing with my clothes=) Been trying on for 1hr.=P Haha. It's fun. But I'll never wear them here. It's cold (supposedly) and I don't when to wear them too.

Ha. Ha. I just realised today that I've got an assignment due on the 23rd. Damn. I am so blur. Today someone in tut mentioned an assignment and I thought it was only her. You know how the locals brag on and on but themselves so I never know whether they are talking abt themselves or the physio population. They keep talking abt their surgery when we've got a case on an ACL tear and stuff. yadaa yadaaa yadaa...Bloody. Point is, I just realised that I GOT AN ASSIGNMENT. Darn. And I've been having the prac manual since the beg of this sem which started 8 wks ago. Darner. Another research paper. Darner still. I am so bloody screwed. *stressed* ... -_-" I am always the last one to know lah. Damn.

Because of you...I really like this song

I am broke. They are having a physio yum cha thingy this friday. Supposedly for the locals and internationals to mingle. Hmm. I am sure they will probably end up talking to their own cliche. haha. I actually wrote my name down on that sheet of paper. =X I am so corny.

anyway, today my friend said the first impression I gave him was that I am 'dao'. then he was scribbling 'dao' across my lect notes in the middle of the physio lect and he spelt 'tao'. haha. lol. that's a new one for me. I mean being called 'dao'. haha. I guess I haven't really had someone told me that before. *thinks* Hmm then again, back in nj my friend said I was dao too. haha. But that was kind of a joke (i hope=p), because I said he was dao 1st. =p Then for a while following that, each time I didn't greet him when I was online, he said that I was dao. haha. the darnest things kids say man. haha

hey but today, this banana is really mad lah. 1st he came in calling me e*** coconut Goh. haha. (oh but that's because I've been calling him e*** banana Lo -- haha nice middle name hor >_= ......yahyah I am so very weird lah...) Does he even know what is dao? haha...in fact he is the typical dao one. hmm. not many pple said that he is lah...Only...EVERYONE. haha...=X Geez. I shld feel really honoured I think. Someone said I am dao leh! haha...okie I shall quit ranting on and on abt it. I think I am only that ignorant to guys. Haha...Kind of a reflex thingy. See, if you smile at some kid, later he think I like him...Oh...you can never expect what kind of swell egos they have man...=P

haha...sometimes pple with really big smiles scare me=X

hmm...vernet lopez has a really deep [and sexy] voice=P

54 more days to nov!=)

Was flipping through vogue, vanity fair and several other fashion mags when some article on jen caught my eye. I was glued to it for a handsome 20min since. I never knew that I was so into mags. A 1st time for me.

Oh my, the jeff guy from survivor palau is soooo freaking sexy -_-" His bod is like...spectacular! I was drooling across the pages. I was on the verge of ripping the pages out, if it wasn't for the SCH mag. His body is just a heavenly indulgence. And if you had tried to simply glance at the picture for an innocent gaze. Forget it. You'll soon find yourself falling into a world where you'll be studying his abds and biceps. wth. And his angel-like face. Oh man. Just by studying him, I'm sure you can get all your surface anatomy covered. ^_= I was so close to getting my face heated up from him flaunting all his 'hot stuff'. haha. hooooo~

Hmm...the models are gorgeous as well. The scantily dressed babes are just so eye-catching. =P Let alone the series of gowns and lingerie they were sponsored. Wah...*jaw drop*

couple of weeks ago, I came across the couple of actresses from wedding crashes in a mag. Boy are the girls really pretty in real-life. Esp the female lead. Can't recall their names though. They are pretty unique ones.

Hello Sunday Morning!=)

I had close to 12 hrs of sleep and I'm sure I can sleep in more but that wld be at the expense of my rest tonight. =P

Hehe...I feel like going to the beach. It's a bright and sunny day=P

ah. Really tempted=P

But it's already mid-day. Hmm. *muses

The weather is so devoid of moisture that my skin has become wrinkly like that of an old granny=( The skin on the back of my palm looks like the ground from the aftermath of a drought. And to add to that, it is susceptible to cuts so it looks as though I just went through a forest of thorny shrubs. Haha.

56 days...=)

Hmm. I really shld do sth on a sunday. But all I can think of is...the beach=X

I think I am addicted to the beach.

Omg. what kind of a song is uncle mutton!...haha...=X
Btw...got pics down the page...so er...scroll down to see. haha.
Been talking too much crap today that my blogger is all the way down.
maialee is on again. this time on p10. haha.

heehee. I enjoy reading the blog entries from feb. Just reminds me of the fun I had with my friends at home=)

I can't wait to go home. And then maybe cook with my friend. And maybe hangout at the beach again. And maybe go shopping with the shopaholics again. And maybe go for movies at orc again. And maybe have hangovers on sat nights again. And maybe...and maybe...[happiness]

Haha I am watching a cooking show now. Strange. If someone offers to wash the utensils after me...I'll cook for you...hahaR...ok, let's cook tog.

Eh. grey clouds settling down outside my window.

I love you...people=) haha.

Listening to 'The Reason' right now. Inevitably, I thought of him. If I am not wrong, Fish&Co was airing this song (and repeating it over and over again) when I first met him. So was GuySebastian's 'Angels brought me here'. And 'Everybody's changing'. I think he told me he liked 'The Reason'. That was one of my 1st few times listening to it. Now...it's been a year and 1 month since. Time flies??...

I reckon sometimes it's good to have a change from the music on mix 101.1--the songs go round in a circle. Sometimes I wake up in the morn and listen to 1 song. By 6pm when I when I am abt to prepare dinner, the song is on again. Happened to me 2 twice in a row. Haha. The songs are really stale I think. Or maybe they just haven't got wind that new songs are out in the market. HahHAaR...Ok, that's hilarious. But I wldn't be surprised. They are usu abt 2-3 mths behind I think. Hmm. I can't imagine the suburbs man. They probably discover the difference after 1 yr...=P It's eccentric considering that they are a developed country. haha. ok I shall stop defaming this wicked place=X

There are a couple of pple who I related my coming to the birth of a child...So...the baby is due in abt 2 1/2 mths. haha. Pple who are wondering why--it's because I'm going to be here for 9mths...that explains. ^_<

Hey, you know actually It's Ok. So he has a gf. Big deal. It's got nth to do with me anyway. I don't know why I was making fuss over this. Haha. I had always wanted to discover that he had one too, so that I cld completely forget him. Well. Now he has. So I ought to feel better=)
Nah, I am not in denial in case your wondering. haha. After all that rantings, I didn't weep. He's not worth it lah. Furthermore, now that he's got a gf I shld be glad coz it just means that I had good taste. Hahaa...>_*

waking up to yes933. Then switched to class95 then now it's perfect10. Haha. Had a friend flown to UK last night. Hmm. But the time I return home, there probably ain't anyone left to go out with me anymore. Hehe. =P

Bright and sunny morning. And I feel like bumming in even more. Haha. Had watched Spidy 1 last night. Funny. And nice. Never watched before. I wonder why harry thought spidy killed his dad. Like he didn't see the former holding a weapon or directly killing him anyway. Bleah. Weird stuff. Oh and kirstendunst can bloody scream so shrillingly. haha.

I feel like dancing at a disco. =P china black anyone? haha...I've never been in one before. One day=) qte afraid to be groped ard in the dark actually. Haha. Bring more 'bodyguards' uh? hahaa. Look for the guys with dua dua jia muscles to go along? Haha...lalala

3 sept. Let's see...58 more days to nov. =P

Geez I feel like puking now. hehe. Was dancing to the music of p10 after brekky. Haha. Stupid me.

Hmm. Read that sg's movie industry is thriving. Yeah man!=) I wish I cld watch their productions that are out in the movies at home now though.

1) The maid
2) '3 good men'=I can't find the eng title
3) Be with me
4) Perth--the plot sounds pretty alluring. Typical sgporean story.
5) I not stupid too--will be open by the time I go home=)

my james bond. haha.  

desktop=) 

messy handwriting... 

look at the streams of cars on a friday night... 

see what boredom did to my home water bottle =P 

half eaten luscious red gargantuan strawberry=P 

rainbow one day. The wind was so strong that it kept blowing the mass of white to the left, exposing a clear blue sky. Phenomenal=) 

was browsing my collection when I came across this. hehe I like the girl on the left-(chae rim) and the guy on the right (wu zai shi). 

On one hand, I am happy. Happy that my dream is over. On the other, I am sad. Sad that I actually wasted my time on something that didn't have an outcome. 2 mths. That's how long I was oblivious to the broil and boil. I really don't know what I shld be feeling. I don't really feel like crying yet I don't feel the best of moods either. One thing for sure, I really hope that his r/s will work out for him. I hope they will live happily ever after and get married=) My friend said that I was thinking too far. But frankly speaking...after all that I went through, I really hope that they will cherish each other. hehe. Am I going mad? but what I said were words from my heart...

I'll just take it as another stepping stone in my life. Another chance to grow up and maybe one day, I will look back and laugh at my stupidity of holding on to a lost dream for 1 year. Sure, it does suck. After all you thought and hoped will happen but how often do events occur by my desires? Oh well. Smile and move on my friend=) Be strong.

Maybe it's a bad idea to listen to sad music when you're sad.

I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Then maybe again, I think I am stressed out and tired.

I am so tired...

haha

Sometimes I am afraid of myself. Afraid that I might just lose all sense and do sth stupid. what scares me is that I know I am capable of doing that. I act on impulse. I follow my heart. I really afraid. This is sth that probably no one can ever help me expect God?

Ah. That I go again. Babbling trash. Haha I think I really lack sleep and my mind isn't functionally sanely enough for me to stay awake for long. 5 hrs of sleep. All thanks to the 'night out' with jb. Not that I am complaining but I did make me glad (and sssleeeeepppyyy).

Internets are such a bane. zZzZzzzzzz.....

I need to sleeep. haha

Wake me up when Sept ends...

I was listening to maialee on 933 last night and I'm surprised that her mandarin's pretty strong although her singing is airy...and soft...=X

Time for prac...!=(

The arrival of spring

Today I learnt that guys are asses. Knew that long ago but today it was reinforced. I was queuing up for use of the comps in the library and this whole of guys were just happily playing their computer games, obliterating, pple who needed to use the comp. Whatever.

Today. I found out that he has a gf...apparently, his gf is red-headed.
My friend just broke the news to me. Surprisingly, I was happy to hear the news. Beats me why but I know I was. Perhaps, this meant the end of my seemingly endless torture and bouts of loving you, loving you not. I don't know. But somewhere in between the periods of jubilee, I felt totally disgusted. I thought the fact that he led me on all this while was revolting. Maybe, I was the blind one all along. I was. However, the feeling of having to have my heart stabbed a hundred and one times over some idiot who was clueless just numbs me. I don't feel like crying. At all. I think. I feel so immune and helpless. It feels as if my house has just been broken into. Nevertheless, I thanked my friend for informing me. However she did it. I ought to ask her. I guess right now, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I am grossed up. I think I wasted my life on him. On the other hand, the truth is out and hopefully, my misery too...Time will heal. I hope.

Had my tutorial feedback today. Atonished that the tutor was a little more lenient than what I expected. Amidst the cursing and swearing behind his back. At least he seems a little more nice than the other tutor. That woman actually gave me a 'just pass' for tutorial. You have no idea how much I spent photocopying the stupid notes and preparing for her pbls. And behind all her pseudo nice-miss-congenialty-most-amiable-and fun-loving-tutor personality, she's qte a screwed person actually. Didn't expect her to give me a mark which I reckon is gross. Hasn't I seen another peer's mark, I wld have nv found out. She gave this person a pretty gd mark I think...for what? Talking nonsensical things and the skimpy pieces of info that he prob got for an unreliable webby or sth. argh. Why am I complaining. I feel sucky. Someone shoot me again.

To cheat, To lie, To swear, To flirt. To Break My Heart.

Actually I don't know what I am feeling right now, nor what I shld be feeling. Just wanna fall back into my comfy zone back home and forget abt everything that has happened.

I know JB makes me happy. But what is happiness? A momentary episode of euphoria? A scaffold in times of needs? I friend who I really enjoy talking to? I am a completely different person when I am in sch and when I am not. Have been tuning in to radio stations back home and at times it does make me feel really really close to home.

Yest I was dancing in the ballroom of grand hyatt sg. I wasn't alone. jb was with me. Yet another event of fantasy. I am just another bird trying to break free from the clutches and boundaries of the world. Of Earth. I thank the pple for having to listen to me, my rantings; helping me resolve my issues and of altruisically and sincerely asking abt my well-being and again, for listening to whatever I have to say =) Thank you guys. I've got you in my heart.

:'(

Haiz, I am not crying. I just feel really cooped up. Haha. Maybe it's my life or maybe it's just my thick jacket, or maybe it's just this library with no ventilation. =) Anyway, I am fine. I really am. Just need to do some thinking...I feel really stupid actually. Esp everytime I recall how there was the element of flirtation. It disgusts me so, so much...