It's been another quick stay here. Before long, I'll be back to U. Mugging my head off.

Been a private nurse for my parents for the past few days because my mum was sick then my dad. I was in the kitchen half the time actually. Never been there for a longer time in my life. I didn't cook meals. Just prepared dessert that my mum felt like eating, poured drinks, squeezed lemon (which I think I haven't done that in a million years) and made a little fruit salad. Qte proud of myself actually. haha. But I thought it was only right to do so. Like a dutiful daughter. I'm sure there is a reason for my name. hehe. Anyway, cooking really isn't that bad. I thought it's qte interesting. You get to experiment and produce whatever food you want. haha. I am only talking from the dessert point of view because I guess it isn't as messy as when cooking dinner or sth. The only problem abt cooking meals is the washing up. I don't mind washing but I mind oily and greasy stuff. Looks like my hand is for manual labour. Anyhow, maybe it's better than doing nothing at home.

Happy birthday pee.

Suddenly I wished pee and yy were still in singapore.

OH NO. I just realised that I have only just more than 2 wks left. So sad. Don't wanna go back. =( Was browsing the movies page and and are abt 3 movies which I plan to watch before I go off. Shall we dance, Finding neverland and Alfie. Sigh. I am overpowered with melancholy now........and then it will be new year. And then crap and then crap and I'll be gone. Back to a stressful life. So sad. Sigh.

Let my thoughts run wild.

I was at the mrt station that day when the train came. I was waiting on the platform for the opposite train to arrive when I saw my friend from aust in that train. It was a bit far and I wasn't really sure if it was him. So I didn't want to look like a fool by waving in case he wasn't looking. Anyway, he started waving first and I waved back and the train sped off again. I was thinking...it is really a small world.

Went to the dentist for a checkup today. It was over and done in no time. Had a haircut today. It was...Ok I think. Qte satisfied with it. At least it wasn't horrendous-horrendous. Recalled that I had hideous ones as a kid, esp when they cut your hair so short it looked like I was on the brink of shaving. hehe.

Hmm...Am I not wrong to say that everyone changes their character at some point of time in their life? People make new friends, forget the old. Although they don't say it, the feeling is obvious. As if there a huge moat between old friendships that can never be surpassed in anyway. Inevitable isn't it? As depressing as it sounds, it is true. It is just fate whether you will meet them again and whether the connection felt once can be strong again.

Watched 'A walk to remember' that day. I love the story plot although the acting was amateurish and can be further polished. On the other hand, I realised that Korean shows are really close to the heart. So many love stories, each one touching my heart to a certain extent. They are truly masters of this trade, or genre. I wonder if every girl wishes to be in a fairy tale where everything simply ends in a cannot-be-better perfect ending. With Prince Charming, that is. I do. But how often does it happen? Who does it descend upon? I doubt me. It's nice to dream abt such stuff once in a while. Indulge in my own fairy tale where only sweet events happen because apparently they don't in reality. I don't believe. Don't want to harbour false hopes. They are just way out of my reach. Period.

I was thinking...I don't want to be 19. Let alone 20. The number 2 just seems so 'fat and heavy', so much burden and of course, OLD. Can't imagine when I am 30. I'll be labelled a spinster then. I'll seriously consider going to the nunnery or not get married ultimately. Not that I really want to get married but...you get what I mean. Unwanted and in preparation for discard. And then, at 40, I'll be old and wrinkly like a dried up leaf left to shrivel and rot silently. I just can't imagine. Hmm...just wild thoughts and scary ones.

I have been a fool these days. Last night I was praying to God for a soulmate who will listen to me 24/7 when I realised that he had always been there for me. I enjoyed talking to him. A good hearty talk. I told him something that I hadn't told anyone before and it felt really genuine. I guess I didn't have to hide anything when I spoke to God because he knows me better than I know myself. Although speaking to Him may seem like a one way communication, it isn't at all. I know when God is trying to speak to me through his wise words and it isn't surprising at all that I think I was enlightened to a certain extent after talking to Him.

what is so gay abt spongebob that christians are against him? don't u think it's qte crazy.barney as well. even if they are really gay, what's so bad abt it? i mean some pple are just born homosexual; their testerones are more than their oestrogens. it's not like they chose to be gay or what. why can't we just leave them alone? they are humans just like us, God's children just like us. I don't see any problem. So what if the kids who watched these cartoons turn out gay or so what if they don't? For heavens sakes, just leave them alone!!!...

Crap. So mad now. Not that mad but still mad. Why do pple have to empty talk? It is just so wrong. All the stupid promises and when you ask them for it they just forget abt their promises. =( Ragbag. I'm sorry but I just feel so cheated right now. Why are the pple who are like that capable of doing such a thing? It's so...cheapskate. Once again, I feel so taken advantaged of. crap.

Hmm today is a holiday...it's doesn't feel like it at all.

Happy Birthday vicky.

I miss my piano soooooo much...How I wish I can bring it over. My source of support when I am sad. However, it is so impossible to ship it over. The one in school is kinda far away from my campus. Crap. I want a grand piano. Haha. Dreaming again. If only I had bill gates' fortune. Bet a grand piano is peanuts. Anyway...

Hey I hope you are feeling a little better. A little better everyday. Maybe you need a break. Go and do anything you want. Sometimes you just need to spoil yourself a little to feel good. I am sure there are things that can make you happy. Think of them. Do them. My sis doesn't believe in this but from me. Set yourself a certain amt of time to be sad and after that, just drop the whole issue and never speak of it again. =) It's your life afterall. Only you can decide how you want to feel girl...cheer up okie?...

I need a badminton racquet. I want to bring it over. I have no idea how my sis broke a badminton racquet. The 1st time she played in 3 mths, I think. It is so ridiculous. And she didn't even say a thing until I discovered it. I still don't understand. How do you break a racquet?!! Unless she used it to wallop someone. The wires are frayed and there is like a huge gigantic gargantuan hole in the net. And everytime I did a 'slam', the shuttlecock gets stuck in there and the next moment I am left wondering where on earth is the shuttlecock. So crazy. I miss yy who's in NY now. Haha. I sound so incoherent. Oh well. Haphazard thoughts.

I think I did nothing today. Well, not exactly nothing but the day just passed so quickly. I merely uploaded some pics onto the webby and it took a while. lalala.

I wonder how 2 yrs changes a person. It's qte incredible. Anything can happen. Life is so unpredictable. I wish I knew too. Some nights, I just lie in bed, wondering what life is all about. The pple who walk in and out of my life. Made a difference. Some very significant. Some not so much. Who knew that I still had chemistry with a long time friend? Who knew that one day I wld be studying abroad? Who knows what will be my next step in life? Maybe only God knows. God the creator of all. My next move, another chapter of my life. Only he knows best. And another thing, God knows what best for me, for you and there is a reason for everything that happens to us. Almost everything. At least that's what I think.

Just got my new timetable for sem1. It's erm...shld I say more packed than before? Well...no 9am starts everyday but almost 5.15pm ends everyday. -_-". Geez. Help. I don't like PBLs. It feels awkward, scary. The last thing I want in to speak up in front of 10 strangers and talk abt some crap. Why can't I just have normal tutorials? Those that the other students don't even realise when you are absent. Yes. I want those. And the pracs too. I just feel so lazy having so much hands-on thingy. Sooner or later my hands with rot and fill with disgusting popping varicose veins. This is so saddening. ='(

bruce almighty rox. cable tv rox!

HahahaR...went to pierce reservoir today. Guess who I met! 715! If you watched the star awards 2004, you will understand. He is a 'ah ge1'. hehehe...omg he is damn cute leh. haha. Serious. My mum and I walked rocky and at the dead end, the doggy refused to budge and when I squatted down and stood up, guess who was standing in front of me. Hahaha...Okok, I am so dramatic. Anyway, he was wearing a cap and sunnies and initially I didn't know it was him but from the look of his distinct lips, it was obvious that it was him. He looked at my dog then at me but I didn't know it was him. Anyway, he walked off and took the longest route to avoid peeps. He is sooooooooo cute. Sorry, I can't stop it. Cute cute cute...Ahhhh! ....hahaaa...Haiz, but too bad he's a . It was rumoured that he is because he doesn't have a gf. However, I think it is true. How sad. I saw his partner. He was walking in front of the cute guy and they tried to keep a distance, although cute guy was tailing him. OMG!!!...sorry sorry I really cannot stop. haha. hmm...then when we were abt to go back and my mum was driving beside cute guy, cute guy deliberately looked away so that I cldn't see his cute face. Haha. Ok I am so perverted. Hmm...but apparently his other half didn't look that appealing and was shorter than him. Didn't expect my 1 time to Pierce in more than 2 yrs was so er...'fruitful'. HAhaha...

Hey but I pity the celebrities. Like they can't even have a normal day without being recognised. A pity I didn't ask cute for his autograph. Hehe anyway, I wldn't dare. Decided that I shldn't bother them since they have the right to have they freedom too. Can you imagine if everyone bombardes them. So poor thing.

Gladly, the reservoir wasn't really packed with disgusting kids who go mad at the sight of dogs. Esp my furry doggy. haha. ^_^' Phew.

He is so cute he is so cute he is so cute he is so cute he is so damn freakin' CUTE!...hahaha............................Crap. If only he was straight.

Kinship

Hmm...I can hear my neighbour crying so pitifully. "I don't want daddy", repetitively. It's qte disconcerting. The incessant whining and traumatic cries feel qte depressing. How wld the kid's parents feel?

This is coincidental because I have always wanted to say that I love my parents a lot as they have given me, or at least tried to give me everything I want. Tangible and intangible. Inevitably, there has to be a compromise. I can't get everything. However, I know that whatever I want, they will always have to go through some predicament and do whatever it takes to get it for me. In case you're wondering, I wasn't always thinking this way. I guess the studying abroad and stuff really changed me. Good and bad. To see the world and maybe singapore, through a different set of mindset. I dare to say that I cherish my family, my friends and my religion more. The pressing short period of stay every year is so hard-earned that sometimes I find it a waste of time to bicker with my parents which I always used to. Over nothing. Really. Esp with my dad. Bottomline is, we all shld compromise. Simple as that. Give way and make everyone happy. Afterall, isn't that when we feel at best?...

My first

hee...I am soooo tired. Feet hurt. Stuff. I finally went to the durian aka the esplanade today! Call me slow or whatever but the feeling was great. Esp at night. Although the air was a little stale and heaps of pple were there, I guess it was still pretty good!...Well well...today. Today I went to orc to pass a friend some stuff and then went to city hall to meet my friend. Walked through citylink. Went suntec. Walked ard and ard and yes, ard. Had vegetarian food that was...erm...ok. I didn't really know what I was eating. Anyway, went to the fortune fountain. It was spectacular. At least the gust wind was the biggest it can get in singapore. Yup. Nice, cool. I am surprised. Haha. Lalala~ Didn't know there were so many shops in the durian. Someone owes me a $980 big teddy bear. Haha. eh...what else did I do? I can't really recall. Went to some sporting shops. Went to carrefour. Walked. Oh yup took alot of lame pics. Pole man was half dead. hehe. So sorry. Hope your tummy's better and hope you had fun. I had fun. I need reflexology. Fast. Okie. Gotta bathe. Eat somemore. Pig in!=)

Oh met li nanxing on my way back. He just got out of the car parked outside his house. He looked at me. I looked at him but I didn't really give a *crap* partly because I cldn't care less and also because it was pitch dark and on 1st look I didn't notice him. Also maybe because his built was a little smaller than usual. Whatever the case, I saw him go into his house.

I am so sorry but I can't help that I am always late for dates. Sometimes I wish that I still had uniforms. Dressing up can be such a chore. Choosing clothes, wearing them, taking them off, going for another top. The top doesn't match the skirt. Change skirt. Don't feel like wearing skirt or that particular skirt that day. Change bottom. Feel very hot. Change from pants to skirt again. Haha. You get the point. That is why I am always late. I feel so guilty but can't help it. Hmm. And then before I go out, my mum will always ask me lots of things and then I late even more. And at the bus-stop, the bus takes forever to come. And it stops at every stop, every traffic light. And at the bus terminal, I ALWAYS have to run to the mrt station. Sometimes I am lucky, the mrt comes really quickly. Yup. That's me. So sorry to those that I have been late to. Hehe.

blog

A new blog for a new beginning. I want to be happy. To hack care everything that tries to depress me and put me down. I will try to stop cursing and swearing and put the past behind me. The problem is, everything step I take, I tend to look back and think, what if I chose the other path? My fate will definitely be different but the crucial question is, will it be better?

I feel so dead today. So deprived of energy. I feel like crying yet I can't cry out. Was tearing in my bed last night. Whatever for I don't know. Just wasn't at my best of mood. My arm aches and my breath is short. I just feel so cooped up physically and mentally.

I was watching animal planet and I was wondering how do dolphins feel? Spinner dolphins in particular. They are so buoyant and bouncy. Do they ever get bogged down by worries? They are so playful and intelligent and the varsity and infinity of the ocean are they boundaries. What more in terms of 'space' can they ask for? They can swim to wherever they want, eat whatever they desire without worrying that they may ever get fat. They are always swimming in schools and they have so many friends. They even help other species in times of crisis, saving a grp of divers from sharks. And they are adorable. They are really carefree...