spamming the answers to my quiz

the answers for the quiz dated back to 20th june

In case you didn't know...

1) my full name: sth emilyn sth
2) my birthday: 1st mar
3) my favourite colour: light pink, baby blue
4) favourite food: for now it's cake-obsession
5) hp model: 8310 (yeah i know...*sob*)
6) hospital i was born in: thom
7) my crush:
8) name any 3 things i look for in the opp sex: 1) height 2) faithfulness 3)
9) name one of my dream honeymoon places: paris/venice!
10) my favourite song: Right here waiting
11) 2 of my favourite drinks: watermelon juice, ice chocolate
12) the number of shoes i own that are still wearable: 9
13) my height: 162.5
14) i have: 2 sisters and 0 brothers
15) i can't leave home without my: wallet
16) the name of the kindergarten i attended: chinese kindergarten
17) my best subject in high sch: higher chinese
18) most hated subject in high sch (and still do): physics
19) my favourite subject in high sch: A maths
20) my favourite place: beach
21) my favourite CD: westlife
22) my highest grade in piano: 8
23) my confidante: my mum
24) shopping (buying)/ (listening/playing) music/ exercising (any 1): is the best way to help me destress
25) my favourite genre of movie of late: comedy
26) the age of current hp: 3 yrs and 5 mths
27) the State i was in for 3 years:
28) my favourite sport: badminton
29) my favourite game in primary sch: captain's ball
30) the number of times I sprained my ankle: twice
31) the number of times i dyed my hair: once
32) the longest length of hair i'd ever had: down to my ass
33) wind-surfing/base-jumping/para-gliding?: para-gliding
34) the length of my longest crush: abt a yr
35) my favourite sweet as a kid: tic tac orange flavour
36) my favourite cartoon: mr bogus
37) the 1st bar i'd ever stepped into: balaclavia
38) the age of the 1st time i'd burst out in rashes after a sip of red wine: 10
39) my 2 favourite flavours of ice-cream: pistachio, hazelnut and nougat (make that 3)
40) the 1st time I performed on stage: primary 1. If you'd consider a box a stage, make that 5 yo. hah
41) my favourite seasoning: wasabi
42) the number of ccas i had in primary sch: 7
43) my favourite pastime in primary sch: embriodery/stitching
44) the number of times I moved house: thrice
45) the most impt thing in my life: family

Never knew that much abt me, did you? (:

Bad English

Incident 1:

that day i had an sms...

**: I had already chop seats for you

Omg. I almost fainted. 1. tense. 2. that freaking word. I didn't reply because I knew that if did, I wld probably be inclined to punch in sth stupid like "You mean reserved seats? Because if you chopped the seat up, I wld have to sit on the floor." But in case you're wondering, I thanked this person when I arrived anyway.

You must thinking...you are perverted and incorrigible. But, have it your way. Whatever ok? I just can't stand it. urgh.

Incident 2:

Someone wrote on her wksheet...if you putted this enzyme in, blah blah blah...

Fainted again.

Incident 3:

another sms...I planned to brought my sth sth sth...

Enough Said.

It's analogous to scratching your nails down the blackboard.

Yes, I am pedantic. Sue me. On the other hand, I don't claim to have perfect english (in fact it sux) but Please...? It's won't take you a sec to at least abide by the basic rules. Thank You. Probably no one will wanna sms me anymore. haha.

fk is damn funny.

During lab...

fk: mei nu...
(because he wanted to use the DDH2O)
me: *amused. raised 1 brow*
(finished pouring DDH2O and walking away)
fk: just now your expression like a character in maple-story...
me: HUH?!

I don't play maple-story.

here's the scoop. singaporeans are a scary bunch. Imagine a shopping mall dangling with 70%-off signs. It's like having an anchor and waiting for brainless fishes to get hooked. Now imagine the mall infested with ugly cheapskates. OMG. Number 1: the noise pollution as pple scream excitedly at price tags. Number 2: the horrendously long train of Aunties (and what seem to be Aunties) who vie for changing rooms. Com'mon lah, the clothes are so fugly. Just because they are at 50% off doesn't mean you have to fill your wardrobe with f**king ugly pieces of drapes. LOL. Number 3: these pple just take up space when you and I jolly well know that they are not gonna buy the merchandise after attempting to squeeze into one of those...those...things anyway.

I'm sorry.

Yes, I have a problem. These pple just spread headaches ard like dengue. There isn't even a place in town where is not hawked by awful kiasu...Nvm. I am not a racist. I don't wanna get sued. -_-" But seriously, they gave me the impression that they wld be grinning from ear to ear if they got marooned on an island full of 'sale' tags...

On the other hand...

Had a whooping (Okay, it wasn't elaborate or whatsoever) dinner with mommy. Then we had very sinful cheesecake at coffeebean. Not too bad I guess. Stomped ard town [I decided that i don't like orc anymore- I wish I didn't go there today]. That's abt it.

You know you are old when...
1) pple give up seats for you
2) you have balding spots and white streaks on what's left on your plate
3) you detest shopping (sigh)

---------------------------------------------------------

I read a friend's blog. And realised that the importance of certain things that I've sadly, so often neglected and taken for granted. I have a confession to make: I love my family so much that it's a fact that nothing can/will change that. I really wish that my parents will take care of themselves as much as i'd like them to. I hope you dear readers will cherish what you have too. Cheers.

Making up for a lost childhood

Today i went cycling! (: I had always wanted to have a bicycle since a gazillion years ago and I never had one till now (and it's not even mine). I know I am a late boomer. What to do.

my sister's bicycle is so gu niang. it has a basket in front and the wheels are kinda small. but nobody's complaining. Poised with my lil' pink cap, i happily set out on my little expedition in the evening. The initial rides were daunting as the tiny wheels seemed to have an affinity for parked cars and 2m-deep ditches. As i wobbled unsteadily on my little bicycle, I contemplated going to the park. With this kind of riding manner (i swear it was the bicycle not living up to it's mark! =P), i encircled the temple a couple of times before deciding, maybe i'm not ready to venture to the park yet. When i felt a little braver, I tried to pedal uphill. boy was it strenuous and tiresome, especially with such mini wheels. BUT all these hardwork paid off as the ride downhill was really thrilling and exhilarating. THAT WAS IT. i felt ready to cycle ard pple. haha. So after half an hour of swerves and sudden screeches to halts I was a little more accustomed to the bicycle. Prayers repeated a couple of times, I decided to hit the main road.

Stealthily, i picked up my tonne heavy bicycle and proceeded to ROLL it across the road. I cldn't possibly pedal across for fear that i might cause a major pile up, especially during the peak hours. Still excited and anxious to go for the high ride, i clasped the hand-bars and hand breaks so tightly for my dear life that they ached. But bo bian, I was terrified. Well, a little. There were pple on their bikes in the park too. Apart from the many ah peks pedalling their shabby vehicles with ease, i came across only 2 other professional cyclists. Coming to think of it, it seemed like I was the only girl with her gu niang bicycle. I never realised that. Anyway, I didn't fear so much abt scarring my limbs and stuff, but more of

1) scratching MY SISTER'S bicycle esp when it LOVES curbs and long gaus
2) embarrassing myself by crashing into a tree or a lamppost, or worse, joggers

Thankfully, none of these happened. However, i have to say that each time i was SOOOOO close to maneuvring the bicycle in the way i wanted it, i always ended up navigating myself (unintentionally) into the 2m-deep trench. Then my wld adenaline hiked together with arrhythmias. I can't imagine ending up in the dam. Seriously. I can now say that I've FINALLY reached the other end of the park! Hohoho!!! Something that i've never achieved by foot because I was always on the verge of dying after simply covering half the park by jogging (I hate running btw). Not only did I reach the end, I even encircled the park TWICE!!! WahHhAhAR. haha. Pple must be thinking...this goon is retarded. Oh well :P

Fun part aside, some moron actually honked at me. I guess I deserved it. I was riding on the wrong side of the road. Ha Ha. -_-" I didn't realise, lah. This car was driving head on like 200m away? Furthermore, it was some idiot living in my vicinity. Nvm that.

After an hr and 15, I was practically tired with all the lactic acid building up in my quads and pecs, from the hanging-on-to-dear-life-thing and I had to leave some spare energy for the ride back. So i had to call it quits as i precariously lifted up the bicycle like a muscle-woman--to the opposite side of the park and proceeded to pedal home.

My groin still hurts. I'll be walking like a frog tmr (if they ever walk). It's only the beginning. I bet my limbs will drop off tmr like that of an attacked starfish.

Actually, I'd prefer exercising to stalking malls in town because
1) my income is stagnant.
2) the more I buy, the more my mum nags. I realised it's a directly proportional relationship.
3) I seriously need to lose the pound and the flabS.

Help.

I have been sleeping at 5.30am for 5 days straight. And had dinner at 11.30pm for abt the last 5 days. All i can say is...I think i've aged at least 10 years, no make that 20.

I have never panicked so much in my life before (except during physio exams).

I drew 4 graphs within 2 hours. 3 WRONG graphs with 13 plots EACH. each stupid plot required calculations to get the pts. And I was on the verge of breaking down. And i was busy smsing and calling pple: how you plot thing? how you plot that? what's your scale like? what's your total kb? and all sorts of shit. 1 said this, 1 said that. I had no idea which one to follow. All the things that cld possibly go wrong on submittion day went wrong (almost).

- i asked my friend to print a picture for me and she printed the another (wrong) one
- i brought a staple and it was out of staplets
- my graph was very screwed
- i realised that my graph was wrong 3 hrs to submittion



i was most impressed with my friend who hasn't even started writing her report on the day of the submittion when i spent 2 entire days writing up.


at 4.25am this morning...smsing...

me: have you drawn the graph yet?
z: no! don't scare me! I haven't started yet! i promise to start after i finish this vcd! oh no i am going to die!

I didn't mean to scare her, really. I was very desperate myself. Gosh, she's like the 1st person i know who hasn't started her 2 page essay on the day on submittion.

On a lighter note, I've finally handed in my report and 2 worksheets. BUT. i've still got heaps to do. I haven't even touched my lecture notes in eons. AND i got another report coming up. AND i've got to prepare and write up my notebk to submit. AND i've got more quizzes. AND i've got another worksheet to do. HA HA.

Good night. Got a throbbing headache now. Must be the lack of sleep :(

Wish me luck. I'll be away again.

humanity is ugly

When I was in sec4...
A friend once said to another friend:

looks? you don't have.
acadamia? you don't have.
money? you don't have.
family? you don't have.

Ouch.

Never expected sth like that to happen in a good sch like mine, did you?

the sad thing is, i knew both of them from lower sec. one of them was a tuition friend and classmate who happened to be the typical little princess. from looks to money and to brains. she had everything. got chauffeured ard everywhere. had everything she wanted. even my tuition teacher liked her (hated me).

Up till today, i can never understand how anyone can be so crude as to say things that are so inhumane. her words came as a shocker, even though i weren't the target of her verbal abuse. Not even the slightest tinge of remorse. sadly, the fact is these words will haunt the victim forever and nothing can change that.

yours truly shall be MIA. don't miss me. take care and may we meet again in time to come :)

totally didn't see it coming

the internet is an treasure hunt. i came across my friend's ex's blog thru linking without even trying. it's a small world. very small indeed.

my dear friend got me black forest cake from secret recipe. really didn't see it coming. Thank You Sweetie. it was great :)

last night...when there were 4 desserts...

dad: what are you eating? (which dessert?)
me: I don't know...
dad: huh? you don't know what you eating? *laughing*
me: got sweet potato and yam...
sis: bo-bo-cha-cha.
dad: how can you don't know what you eating?! (still very amused)
me: orh...bo-bo-cha.

both burst out in laughter.

me...taking the chendol from the pack.
sis: eh you taking chendol? *surprised*
me (to my sis): *thinks* Actually...i don't like chendol...
sis: then WHY YOU TAKE?!
me: i don't know leh...

my sis was speechless.


World cup is finally over. And i am not celebrating. Shall wait for my 2am stints in 4 years time again. Last night (okay this morning) I stayed up watching Italy vs France. Italy won!!! hurhurhur!!!...i won my dad!!! haha but no money was involved though. as i squirmed and punched my fist in the air throughout the game when the players (esp italy) narrowly missed their goals, I felt pretty looney speaking to me, myself and the tv at 3am in the morning when everyone else was tucked in bed.

1st things 1st, what's zidane thinking!?. LOL. he got himself a red card for thumping his opponent in the chest with his baldie, sending the latter clutching his chest in horror and anguish as he collapsed onto the field, eventually resulting in a roll off in a stretcher...while the-all-so-brilliant fruitcake got himself eliminated in his last game of football before he retires. what in the world!?! I cldn't stop laughing. the whole thing's stupid. to think that supporters of france (i know) were actually counting on him to win the world cup. WTH. maybe that's gd news. because italy won. haha. it was good game =) initially, when both teams were going for the sudden death round aka the penalty kicks, the commentator said that italy won only 1 outta 5 rounds while france, 3 outta 5. I was thinking...oh man...if that's the case, france's gonna win. turned out that the italians were still victorious (: I am going to miss football.

and the voice-over is damn funny.

when the camera closed up on the coaches...
"and mr so-and-so (the italian coach) looks like he almost swallowed whatever that was in his mouth."

"the french coach is going crazy."

???!!!


I slept at 5am (i think) and woke up at 1pm today =P it's the finals man. anyway, it started pouring at like 2am and it became so humid that my mum woke up. and abt 430am, she made me a vitamin c drink. LOL. (i know i shld be snacking on tidbits)



To the goddamn freaking pigeon outside: STOP coo-ing!...or i'll fried you.

ooo. i finally scared it off. haha.

don't let me lose my way.
hold me tight in your arms one more time.
and never let me go.


(1) Who did you last go out with?- my mum
(2) What do you want to receive on your birthday?- the gift of love and friendship
(3) Reach your hand out to the right. what do you touch?- brown tape
(4) What time did you sleep last night?- 4.20am as usual
(5) What's the wallpaper on your computer?- fluffy melbournian clouds
(6) What can you hear besides the computer?- class 95
(7) Do you agree to the saying "to forgive is to forget"?- no. try forgive AND forget.
(8) When and where was the last time tearsstarted to roll down your cheek?- last sunday
(9) What/who makes you happy?- the beach/**'s innocence/ buying sth i like/being loved
(10) What makes you sad?- everything and maybe everyone.
(11) What are your favorite books?- frankenstein. and maybe how to play like a man and win like a woman.
(12) What would you like to have right at thismoment which seems totally impossible?- him
(13) Who will you turn to if you have a huge problem that not all your friends know about?- **(14) What's your favorite song at the moment?- right here waiting
(15) What was the last song that kept ringingon your mind last night before you sleep?- a shoulder to cry on?
(16) What was the best event that happenedlast year?- wilson's prom vacation
(17) Where did you go today? the toilet, my living room, my kitchen and my room
(18) Last ride?- in a bus yesterday
(19) Who were you with? Were they cool?- my mum...sometimes
(20) Have you gone to the beach just with yourbuddies?- yeah...was in heaven then
(21) Do you love sunsets?- above most things
(22) When is your bday?- 1st mar
(23) What are your wishes for your birthday?- that things can only get better
(24) Who do you wanna be wit on the day ofyour birthday?- my family and that special someone
(25) Have you ever felt that you've been takenfor granted?- sometimes
(26) Things you regret?-not loving myself enough. no cherishing enough what i have.
27) Is there anything else you want to do besides answering this survey?- tell the person how i feel/watch football
(28) What's the most important sentences thatlingers in your mind right now?-go italy
(29) Cookies n cream or double dutch?-what's double dutch? c and c sounds good
(30) Chocolate cake or brazo de mercedez?- craving for black forest cake now lah
(31) Do you know how to drive?- drive you crazy? YES
(32) Do you like spongebob?- oh yeah, that gay thing's amusing
(33) Do you know how to play the guitar?- a bit, at the expense of my poor fingers
(34) Who's the last person you texted?- coursemate
(35) KFC or Kenny Rogers?- neither
(36) Beach or camping?- definitely beach
(37) Do you find yourself sexy and beautiful?- er...no?
(38) Hotdogs or cheesedogs?- neither. but i gotta choose, make that hotdog
(39) Do you like Shawarma?- oh yeah...i love...WHO the hell is that?!
(40) Is there someone you're missing rightnow?- i think so
(41) Do you love someone right now?
(42) Where did you go last Friday?- sch. LOL
(43) What did you do there?- play. Of course study lah. duh.



relationship questions
1) Single, Taken, or Crushin?
2) Are you happy with where you are?- it's a day by day thing. now. i guess so.
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?- i don't think so.
4) Have you ever had your heart broken?- yeah. ouch.
5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is acceptable?- i guess when you really love the person. then again, why wld u cheat if you love the person?
6) Would you ever take someone back if theycheated on you?- used to believe, but not anymore.
7) Have you talked about marriage with another?- yeah
8) Do you want children?- i only want angels
9) How many?- just 1 angel will do
10) Would you consider adoption?- under special circumstances
11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think a cool way to let you know would be?- hmm...maybe take me to the beach and romance me. hah.
12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?- not really
13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?- never
14) Do you believe in love at first sight?- never
15) Are you romantic?- i think so
16) Do you believe that you can change someone?- maybe
17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would it be?- paris/on the beach and then hop on a 30-day around the world 2-person tour
18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?- most of the time (sadly)
19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?-
20) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you messed it up?- yes. there wldn't be an ending anyway. might as well not start it.
21) Have you ever broken a heart?- a few
22.) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?- no. but i'd love to see someone fight for me. haha



1 last quiz
1. ONE WISH? to be happy
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? lover
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? myself
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? to a certain extent. i loved to build houses. more of a stuff toy buff and 2nd hand handicapped barbies. the armless, the legless and the headless. you name it you have it.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY"? harsh
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? used to
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? i was a fat baby
8. ARE YOU SINGLE?
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? black and more black
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? sometimes
1. ANY SECRET TALENTS? I am psychic and i can fly.
12. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? you mean spotS? let's see, bahamas, hawaii, basically any beach without pple
13. LIKE CLUBBING? never tried. pubbing...not with the smoke maybe
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY? what a jerk
15. CAN YOU SWIM? yup
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"? what?
17. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTRE OF A LOLLIPOP? ALOT of licks. anyway i hate sweets.
18. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? i think i sang before.
19. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE? many times
20. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD? feels like
21. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS? manual. btw, who uses pencil sharpeners when you have mechanical pencils?!
22. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? not at the moment
23. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? i don't think i have a choice. will do.
24. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? people
25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"? Just.
26. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE? No
27. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? No. who cares abt weddings?
28. ARE BLONDES DUMB? better not answer
29. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? used to have heaps before i entered a world where pple have no idea who the author is
30. IS MCDONALD DISGUSTING? gay.
31. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? last sunday
32. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? baths. scrub scrub rubber ducky.
33. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECKKISSED? didn't use to. but i guess now i do.
34. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? sometimes when my mind runs wild
35. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? the internet (for now) and criticisms
36. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? i hate peanut butter and natalla. don't ask me why.
37. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? yes. it's qte gross.
38. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? no. don't wanna try.
39. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? Very
40. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? black
41. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? sometimes the virtual one is sweeter.
42. LIQUOR OR BEER? liquor. make me drunk. beer sucks. rootbeer is still ok
43. ARE YOU A PSYCHIC? yes
44. HATE ..Humans in general. and Reptiles.
45. LOVE...Beaches and my family
46. DID U ENJOY TODAY? I guess so. i prefer my dream more. shall go back to sleep...

mickey blue eyes

hello! well tonight i ate to my heart's content- yet again.

my sis came home for dinner, packing with her 4 types of desserts and a large box of hokkien mee to pile onto my mum's wholesome dishes. tonight, my mum whipped up a kicking meal of (was it 5?) anway, ALOT of food because she knew that my sis wld be back. seriously, the food cld last me for a week, not to mention they were good. Mm...Mm...yum.

i had another dream last night (what's new?) and sometimes i have them so often that i can no longer differentiate virtual from reality. so they call it surrealism. and sometimes i yearn to simply relive my dreams and not wake up. it was saccharine and it made me wonder why on earth did i have them registered in my hippo. they cldn't possibly be my inner thoughts because i always knew where my heart was facing (at least I believed so). shucks, i say. it cld be just abt anyone. it's scaring me. although sweet, it's isn't true, for God's sakes!

If Only

Today i saw him again.

If Only I had a bf like him, i wld be happy.

Shld be up watching football tonight.

My first time eating choc fondue today. Yum.

Got saturday night blues again.

I am sad.

sigh.

HELP.

i am DESPERATELY looking for a book called "molecular cell biology" by alberts et. al. for my report.

Who has it!

Please help me.

Thank you.

wld you go through plastic surgery if it can make you rich and popular? been reading up on the controversial blogger and been wondering, with these the 'glam', are the criticisms, negative attention and possibly even a loss of self-identify worthwhile for this 1 minute of fame and limelight?

i am hungry. i want chee cheong fun.

craving for black forrest cake now :(

whoever can give me that NOW, i'll marry you.

bus rides

*you're my sunshine after the rain* :)

was late for class AGAIN for the 3rd time this week :( throughout the whole journey i just kept chanting a prayer, fingers interlocked, as if I was possessed. "Lord Jesus, pls let me arrive in class on time". at least a hundred times. managed to get to class just after he completed his introductory slide--again.

encountered a mean bus uncle on my way home who refused to open the door just because he was a couple of metres before the bus-stop. A blessing maybe. because i decided not to board it and wait for the next bus which opens up my options to 3 buses (as opposed to 1) nearer to my house :)

encountered a strange bus uncle today who was singing some chinese opera while driving. I thought it was cute because no uncle sang like that. but when he started to make that noise as if to spew out phlegm, THAT was gross.

i met this lady who boards the same bus as me at bt timah, twice. I am pretty sure I've seen her before. God knows where or when but i have a hunch that she's my primary one teacher. Just a gut feeling. Because my p1 teacher is arguably one of the nicest tcher i've ever had. but 13 years of not meeting her...i cld be wrong. It's just strange how one can feel such a great affinity to someone you've probably never met before. So much for telepathy or simply human instinct. I am really curious. coincidentally bt timah. I really don't know. I had an urge to sit behind her and exclaim "She2 lao3 shi1?" and see her reaction, if any at all. I need to do this while having a friend sit beside me though. then i'll feign a conversation with my acquintance in a bid to test her. Hee.

monday. i met a really really cute baby boy at the bus-stop near my house. he and his grandparents got on the same bus as me. (told you i meet interesting pple at the bus-stop/on that particular bus) Anyway, the baby had an angelic face; he will grow up into a handsome boy (: and he's temper was a bonus too. at the bus-stop, his grandpa was carrying him the whole time and because the granddad was standing with his back towards me, the baby boy under 2yo was facing me. He kept looking at me (like all babies do) with those puppy eyes so i smiled at him and he smiled back at me (how cute). I was busy smsing, then i saw him staring at my hand phone, so i dangled my hello kitty handphone accessory [to hypnotise him] and he curiously continued watching that thing swing back and forth. I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM.

In he bus before he alighted with his granddad at bt timah, i think he was tired and distracted and for a while made funny baby noises because he has yet to learn how to speak. then when the grandma was scouring for sth in her bag, the baby stretched out his palm, attempting to reach out for the handle of ah ma's bag. he held onto it tried to lift the handles but was too weak to even tug at it. aww........My heart melted just watching the innocent baby. A mental note: If only my baby was as cute and well-behaved as that kid, then i wldn't fear babies. Also, I realised that actually i do like babies. you know how i always describe rowdy kids like one of the major pollutants in the world...Sometimes it's not true because it doesn't always apply. I love kids, specifically those quiet but not autistic ones. those who obey and worship their parents. i guess those are the kinds parents adore and dote on. If i cld be a grandparent and carry my grandkid like that...without having kids. HAHA. i'm ridiculous.

watching the granfather carry the boy, I recalled the time when my grandfather brought me to sch and back. Those were childhood memories. I wld return to my grandparents house after school to watch sesame street and play with my cousins and teach my grandma say "monday, tuesday, wednesday...". then somehow, fate played a trick on us. when i was 9, my granddad had alzheimer, dementia. during that period of time, i really didn't know what was going on. All i remembered was that all of a sudden, he seemed to be forgetting everything. And after a while, he cldn't even speak coherently- i was afraid of him. I avoided him because i was afraid. he wasn't the grandpa who i used to know. he wore diapers and i didn't what he was talking abt. He became ADL-dependent on my grandma. it was heart-wrenching--not that i cld understand anything at a tender age of 9. And everytime there was case study in physio tutorials abt Alzheimer's, i wld think of him, abt how if i knew more and knew earlier abt this disease, the basal ganglia, putamen, striatum, beta amyloid and whatever shit, maybe i cld understand him more. Such case studies always got the better of me. The ones suffering most with patients like my ah gong were the family members. i cld understand that more than anyone. my parents, my relatives, and esp my grandma. The thing abt dementia is that it's like a downward spiral. pple lose their memories and abilities to perform in ADLs, so much so that they don't know what they are doing and once they fall (gp had many) it's very debilitating because they fracture this and that and because their bodies weaken and become plagued with other infections due to the lack of care and overall deterioration of the body. anyway eventually he left when i was 11. end of story. the reason why i am afraid of hand puppets is related to this incident too.

you never knew that i was afraid of hand puppets did you? there's a story to it. i rem that day was my 1st time [and last time] playing with hand puppets on my last day of my exam and i had just returned home from sch to receive the bad news. i am not afraid of it, it's just that everytime i look at hand puppets, i am reminded of that phone call and the devasting news.

there you go.

and the world cheers on

omg. what is wrong with schneider!?! it was such a beautifully positioned stance and he had to kick the ball way up above the goalpost. ..................

Ok, so i was up watching the world cup at 3am this morning. And so with my amino acid lecture notes in hand, I only watched the 1st half because my eyelids were heavy since 2am and the players were totally retarded, with no goals for the 1st half.

Initially rooting for germany, i decided to change course and support italy instead. Judging from the way the former played, I knew they were never going emerge victorious. Oh boy, the italians had good tackling skills and each player dabbled with the ball like a football buff. It was obvious that their strategy for the 1st half involved guarding the opponents. With the germans outnumbered each time one of them held possession of the ball, how could there be any chance (if any at all), for the germans to bend it. Ball possession: germans-43, italians-57.

And schneider. he almost had it there. no one guarding for once and he had to shoot off course. halleluya. I exclaimed in exasperation for the misjudgement and was silently cursing within. And ballack. Oh man. Forget it.

Who (only someone with a depraved mind) wld actually support germany's game from the way they played? no wonder they never won italy. Oh the germans were cute though =P. Erm. ok back to the point.
So yeah, italy won (: too bad i didn't bet. haha

I had a coursemate by the name of borowski too. and he was a jew. there was a german player on field with the same name too. perhaps, my coursemate was a german?...that's qte interesting. then what was he doing in aust?...

frowned a zillion times, cried 5 times and smiled twice today

***Broke the record!--took 2 hrs to blog this. BE NICE. READ it. Haha***

and so i slept at 4am and woke up at 11am today. had planned to do sth today but somehow my parents managed to get the car today so we went swimming instead. was still feeling extremely crabby this morning, the after effects of the great depression last night. sent my sis to the airport and once again the familiar sights were presented in front of my eyes. this time i didn't detest going to the airport. infact i enjoyed the 45min trip down the highway. at the entrance of the airport, hugs were seen exchanged between a young couple and i cldn't help but ponder, where was this lady with a huge bagpack and luggage heading? how long will she will away? for a moment, i felt a tinge of sourness for the guy who has to cope with the temporary departure. passed by the new budget terminal. kinda amusing. always thought the price of the ticket is damn fine, but being able to come back or even reach your destination is another issue.

i've been haunted with sudden bouts of teardrops the whole day. And i finally felt my endorphins surge when i hit the pool. although it was packed with families-large and small, it was fine with me. i had to avert and cross lanes several times: it was fine with me too. the thing i wasn't fine with was...the pool was sick. every wkend, visibility in the water plunged to qte a pathetic degree. seeing the filth of specks of urea and other unidentified stuff floating ard just grosses me out totally. Not that i was thinking hard abt it. I just swam like no one business.

Oh I saw this guy who was swimming directly head-on incoming towards me, who, from under the water looked like.............SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! =P maybe it was the boxers he was wearing. maybe it was just the way the swum. be it his boxers or his style, i thought he looked either like that yellow cartoonish sponge or his gay friend, PATRICK STAR. Gosh, that PINK thing is so cute lah=P (my sis's cell grp as a guy called patrick and she calls him patrick star. hehe. for a while i was reminded of him). Oh and I was ogling at a cute stick-fig swimmer who swims twice as fast as me :(

1st Smile

Oh...THEN...you have the highlight of the day. *excited* After the swim, i went to the poolside jacuzzi as usual and was just soaking in the bubbly fun and glancing ard the poolside when i saw this super sick ah pek in trunks fondle with his Oh My Gord dick. I found it really hilarious. For the record, No I am NOT perverted. Gosh. But it was indeed qte funny to see one 'adjusting' his manhood in public. Hah.

Had dinner at the club again and my parents waited patiently (must say VERY VERY patiently) for 1hr for their fishhead curry, while i gobbled and scoffed my plate of mushroom fettucini (how sinful) like a turkey. Then I was craving for baked potatoes oozing with tata sauce so i ordered another grilled chicken turnover which i barely ate due to a sudden loss of appetite. btw, I only ate half the baked potato. still very full now :( I had PLANNED to go the beach long before dinner but since the wait was sooooooooo long, my mum tried to dissuade me from going because driving up was kinda out of way, even though ironically, ECP beach was just beside the club. And YES, I THREW A TANTRUM, insisting that my mum cheated me yet again:p it wasn't a loud-mouth event or anything because my tantrums were usually silent treatments"--in which i simply don't talk to anyone AT ALL, in addition to a really peeved look.

Feeling very vEry VeRy depressed, just like how my day has been, i walked off from the table out of the restaurant for a breather, without saying anything to my parents. I walked past one of the swimming pools and thought "What If I Drowned". Then I walked up to the 3rd floor and just stood there for a while. Again, I thought "What if I Jumped". At this time, i was tearing yet again for the umpteenth time. No luck today, it wasn't as windy as the 1st time i went up. After 5 min of stoning, watching the kois swimming beneath me, watching the cars go by the highway just metres away from one of the obscured poolsides, and gazing at the somewhat few stars left on a cloudy night, my mum called my cellphone and I REFUSED to pick up. Probably just to inform me that my grilled chicken has arrived. (heck that) So i took the elevator up to the roof and stood there for abt 2min, then i decided to just go check out what else was install in the restaurant. the restaurant's wkend specialty FISHHEAD CURRY that my parents booked ages ago...(because it tends to get sold out) STILL HASN'T ARRIVED AFTER 45 MIN.
My parents were STILL very patient (so unlike me) that I was very impressed with them. Blah. But I was surprised to see my grilled chicken and 3 bowls of tau suans on the table, which my parents, both simultaneously reported that were complementary from that waiter as a compensation for having to wait half our lives for that almost non-existent pot of fishheads. Oh and my mum announced that we wld go for a walk at the beach YAY! :) See, my tantrum worked--I am just being a spoilt brat.

Piping hot Fishhead curry FINALLY arrived!

As i can't take spicy food AT ALL (my threshold of spicyness is Really pathetic) I was screaming and gulping down cups of water just after eating one teeny weeny piece of lady's finger from that pot of curry.

Eventually, after that 1 plate of pasta, half a baked potato+a few pieces of chicken...and for my parents: 1 HUGE pot (like twice the size of normal FH curries) shared by 2 of them with 1 bowl of rice EACH and 1 bowl of tausuan EACH, we were basically walking human balloons.


2nd Smile:

MY LIFE
As we headed towards the beach by foot through this really deserted tunnel (that scares the hell out of me) we finally arrived at the beach where this heavenly favourite therapeutic place of mine just lifts my mood miraculously (: while my parents sat on the bench like a dating couple, I walked alone onto the sand and just stood there to relish whatever there was ard me. Time stopped......

What seemed like 5 mins of......(read-on 1 - 10)...turned out to be 1hr...
gazing into the ocean (best thing number 1),
listening to the seabreeze (best thing number 2),
3) watching the waves lap tirelessly on the shore
4) watching the flickering ship lights go by
5) watching airplanes take off and head into the abyss of darkness one by one
6) looking out for islands in the far distance and making them out
7) looking up at the stars and hoping for a shooting star
8) having the seabreeze gently blow into your face, seeming taking away all my troubles with it
9) watching a sunset (a bonus)
10) having sand soft to your touch under your weight

...and lots lots lots more...That's why i LOVE (most) beaches (:


For once, no one cld interrupt my bubble of peace and serenity. The only thing my dad said was: IT'S GOING TO BE HIGH TIDE SOON. other than that, things were cool. they knew that i was feeling down. I wonder if they were thinking if I was lovelorn or autistic to be wanting to visit the beach so badly. Then after 5 min, i saw some flickering lights on the beach from my far right. Some loonies flashing torches. Purely an eyesore. Any-o-how, I ignored the distraction and a mental note to myself: If anyone were to disturb my time in my own little paradise, i.........

1) will murder you
2) will not careless because it was my own haven and you can forget abt pissing me off
......depending on my mood


then my parents came down to the beach hand in hand after sitting for abt 1/2hr. I thought it was really sweet and i imagined i wld say this...but they looked really cute together :) I wondered if they ever went to the beach when they were pat-tuoing. hee. Despite my love and passion for beaches, sadly, my parents seldom brought me to the beach. No picnics and such. (I think they only brought my sis and i to cycle by the beach maybe less than 5 times).


I never knew how they felt abt beaches. They just didn't seem like the kind who wld fancy nature. My mum told me that she used to like beaches until the tsunami struck. Hmm that's qte sad. Then i saw my dad abt 3m away, staring at the waves, just like me. It was then that i believed that he liked the ocean too. (or so I thought). Haha. It was until I approached him and he told me he was waiting for the waves to wash out and devastate the (really cannot-make-it) sandcastle. For a moment I thought, OMG MY DAD IS SADISTIC. But then later, i realised that he just wanted to see the high tide reach and flood the little valley between the sandcastles.


I sang. I prayed. I strolled. I skipped. I wished upon a star. I shouted (softly) to the ocean.


So many passing thoughts while face to face with the ocean. I thought of the every other time I was at the beach with blah, blah and blah. who will be standing right here, next to me in years to come? Will he be enjoying it as much as I am?

1. my ecstasy pill
2. pandora rox=)
3. i am addicted to pandora
4. i am sleepy
5. but i wanna talk
6. it's 3am
7. and i still want my pink watch (HaHAHa)
8. crap
9. that's bad
10. i can't get it out of my head
11. that's worse
12. I wanna fly to US too
13. somehow describing poop to me at 3.39am is so wrong
14. got a feeling i won't sleep tonight
15. i am still thinking of the pink watch
16. ignore me
17. pink things always gets me
18. shldn't have looked at that watch
19. darn
20. conked out

this is a depressing entry. do not read.

suddenly, i am just feeling stony. *stones* when i got up the bus, i just felt very...i don't know how to describe the feeling. but i definitely weren't in the best of moods. dejected, sad, bored, exasperated, lonely....Lonely's the word.

you can be surrounded by seas and seas of pple yet feel extremely left out, extremely lonely. (btw the same applies for clothes in the closet...they're never enough)

no, it wasn't the fact that i just realised today that the guy can has a crush on is also called ****. no, it wasn't because i saw wx's bf who i recognised from a pic i saw a couple of times on her friendster who resembles ****. no, it wasn't because i saw that place where we erm...nvm. no, it wasn't because i saw lovey-dovey couples snuggling under one another all over orc road today. i just...sigh...ruminating and pmsing, perhaps.

I wish time wld stop whenever i am stoning at cine. i am just lost in thought, sitting on the couch. i wanna do sth absurb yet i am afraid of-- i don't know what. seriously, i don't know. maybe i've fallen into a state of depression. i am not the girl-next-door. i am just another girl who's trying (really) hard to break thru. To be loved, to be hugged, to be cared for by the person who will maybe mean the world to me. who is he, and more imptly, where is he now? does he even exist--has been my question for God knows how long. actually i am not dying for a bf or anything (cross my heart) it's just that once in a while, you just wonder what you are living for. Jesus yeah? but have you thought of the possibility that there might be sth else? i am not saying that God is not impt, but yeah, sth else? they say life without love is nothing. yet i dun think that love is everything. I don't know. *shrugs*

i came across a pink choker and a pink-strapped watch at tangs that i now only realised i think i like them. haha. a little retarded i know. 120 bucks. LOL. dun play play. today i saw the gal in class who had a similar watch. it caught my attention because it was PINK. someone said he will buy but i DOUBT. haha. Yes, I am telling you I don't believe you. =p past experiences tells me so. he once said he wld learn break dancing for me, as long as i just said that I wanted him to learn. Of course I didn't. haha. because...hmm just coz. Then there was my other bro who said that he wld get me that 1000-dollar bear stuff toy which of course he didn't either. haha. so the cycle goes.

hmm. i don't know. i am afraid. y am i so afraid of i don't know what. what is so scary? actually everything. i hate a being a perfectionist. i think i need to chill out. i am trying v hard to relax already. In fact, i think i am a little more loosened out then before. but still, it just still isn't working. there is nth going on in my head. i used to be someone who wld dig up questions out of the blue to just keep the conversation (with anyone) going. but today, i simply can't be bothered to. or rather, i think i am enjoying the silence more. Yeah, silence sounds good from to time. even though there are questions i question in my head (it's not purely vaccuum you know) i just don't feel like asking. maybe i am lazy. maybe...i am enjoying the silence (not all the time though) it probably depends on the other person. because not all silences are nice. once in a while you have awkard silences and once in a while, the nice kind where you are actually enjoying the companion...