it's the end of the day and i NEED TO COMPLAIN.

ok today i was almost late for work. the darn mrt kept coming to a halt. in the middle of the tunnel. It was horrid and i felt claustrophobic. it was crawling as slow as a slow loris. it kept stopping anywhere except the terminal. when i was release from the gates of h*ll, i ran as fast as my legs cld carry me. by the time i was at the office, i was totally out of breath and drenched in sweat and all i cld feel was an itchy throat. ARGH.

And today i ate ALOT. crap. so many horrible sweets which i bought to distribute. and the leftovers were on my desk. Man. That was a total mistake. i ate and i ate and i ate like i never ate before. argh. THEN...*here comes the exciting part...drum-roll*...there was a power failure in the whole building at 5pm. (man, i wish it was earlier) at 6pm everything was still off, lights came on at 530pm but the comps died on us. SO...we had no choice but to call it a day. wahhaaaR...the earliest day i ever got home. and because i took the bus back to the mrt station for the 1st time (didn't know abt this bus...haha)

Ok...i've got a PILE of work to do tmr. and i mean A PILE. had thought that i wld probably be staying back for OT today...but looks like tmr i've gotta do it and ALONE somemore =( haiz...so sad. I got a bad feeling abt this.

1) i might be stacked with work that the other missing pple had to do. PLUS that 100+ documents that i got to amend and print out. (i gotta use that DARN printer again=( ) PLUS that 4 pieces of paper that i've gotta fax and photocopy tmr.
2) i'll be so sad that i'll be talking to myself or eating
3) i'll be dead busy and getting scolded for not knowing where the stationery/pple are when they call at the reception. DARN.

boohoo.

reception is not fun. =X really stressed. the workplace is filled with virus too. i really really really really really hope that the receptionist will NOT be on MC tmr, although she already told me she wld be tmr...ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!............sigh. i hope CW will be there tmr...

i really ate ALOT today. gotta bitch.
i ate...
1) a full set lunch
2) a smoothie
3) lots of sweets
4) biscuits (argh......!!!...guess what...when the power went off, the 1st place i visited was the pantry--to get biscuits...CRAP. So much for power failures. I wish it will happen once every mth then we can go early, but my friend wanted every week...at this rate, i'll just die a fatty)
5) i merely SAID i was craving for yoghurt, so my friend KINDLY scoured the fridge in the dark and shoved her strawberry yoghurt which she had been finding difficulty finishing in the past few days...and COERCED me to down it. what the?!!....i ate it but i didn't finish it. Now i'm awkward full (and fat) and it's past dinnertime. Man. my body's screwed.

oh i've been eating sooooooooo much the entire day that my friend asked me if i was pregnant. HaR. then when i wanted yoghurt, i just said that i am pregnant. And from then on...THEY've been asking me abt the baby and when the baby's full, burp the baby and when the bus shakes, be careful of the baby. Argh. whatever. food. hehe. when the power was down, she even wrote "**** is hungry" on my post-it notes and pasted them on my computer so that everyone cld see. damn. and i wrote "s***** is mad" see...power failures are fun. hahaaR...

Okie...had reception duty for lunch today. Sigh. when i've got lots of work to do, i've got yes, reception duty. pardon my complaining but i HAVE to complain to my blog and sorry to the dear readers. haha. today, the receptionist said i was nice (so that i cld cover her tmr -.- ) then she said although at 1st she thought i was fierce. darn. am i really that fierce? the older i grow, the fiercer i look...speaking of which...

happy birthday to me...
happy birthday to me...
happy birthday to ME...
happy birthday to me...

thoughts? I feel darn old =(

ARGH. why are you so persistent!!!!!! leave me alone!!!!!!!!

ate ALOT today. was nibbling on khong guan biscuits straight after lunch. Then had a craving for yoghurt which my nice little neighbour/friend gave me from her stocked up yoghurt in the fridge=) then the boss bought bravissimo ice-cream. was extremely creamy i must say and my friend cldn't finish it so she transferred this whole huge scoop from her cup to my cup when i merely said i wanted to try that flavour i didn't have. argh. i didn't finish it of course. haha was full. so i gave another girl to eat. hahaa...what an adventure just with eating ice-cream.

i really wonder where you are this very moment in time. will you be as great as God deems you to be? will you be as sweet as what i deem you to be? do you believe in fairytales? are you my fairytale?...

i spent the entire weekend thinking and reflecting on the past week. i didn't think of this question until my dear friend asked me ( thx=) ) A extremely important question: what lessons can i learn from the obstacles? i learnt that:

1) i shld never use the printer when everyone's using
2) i shld set my priorities straight
3) i shld treat my work more seriously
4) i shldn't take things for granted, esp the tasks pple set for me
5) i shld always finish up and do a good job for the tasks i am given

From today onwards, you will see a serious me. No more the frivolous, fun-loving me. It's time to grow up and be responsible for my work.

actually, i realised that all these unpleasant incidents that happened last week was all myself to blame.

while this guy who made me buy the shoe polish triggered all these unpleasant chain of events, i still have to take responsibility for letting him get the better of me in the first place. His heck-care attitude totally screwed me up all over because,

1) had he not asked me to buy the shoe polish (not my job), i wldn't have been late to return to work and panick and screw up my own job that i was assign to complete. it does NOT always pay to be nice.
2) had he not come and ka chau me to call up the HR guy who was at a course, to ask for his stupid MC card that day i was working at the reception, i wldn't have been "reminded" by the HR guy not to anyhow give out his hp number to the office pple.

but all in all, I am the one to blame. Because I let him get me down in the first place. Therefore, my point being, I shld be more committed to my work and stop making a fool of myself.

i just wanna thank all the pple out there (4) who spent time listening to my complaints =) thanks to all of you, including those who don't read this blog of mine.

I hope for a better week ahead and better weeks to come for me.

actually, how was it that someone cld have a good day when i cldn't, when the almanac didn't specify which group of people will have an auspicious or inauspicious day?my conclusion. that thing is unreliable, is it???...

sad sad day. :'(

1) stepped on someone's toes (i reckon a few) today. got scolded for sth i didn't do. just so happened that when she went to collect her stuff, the printer/scanner/faxer/copier was printing a few of my documents which i had been waiting for a vvvv long time just like the others (coz many others were using too at the same time) so she scolded me for clicking so many (abt 7 pages) at 1 go (when some perm staff before me printed abt 20 over copies) and said i will jam the machine=( bad karma.

2) came back to office flustered after searching desperately for the shoe polish. but instead was told i bought the wrong shoe polish; he said he didn't know how to use it. Photocopied the wrong way because i wasn't thinking straight from all the running to get the shoe polish(coz lunch was over soon) the 2 guys didn't scold me but i felt really, really bad=(

i hate office politics.

3) missed a lunch treat with the big bosses for our dept at crystal jade (2 or 3 of them) who i have never met, because i had a lunch/shopping date with my sister. missed out on a rare bonding session =( Just so happened to be that day.

4) got a phobia of that machine.

5) didn't feel like going home by 630pm so did OT by helping the other temp in bunkering until 9pm when it was just nice for the movie brokeback mountain at eng wah cinema. but reached there at abt 915pm and missed the show. so 3 of us watched Rumour has it instead. wasn't as good as i expected it to be but i just needed to get away from the work-related stress after just 1 week. sad thing is, project hasn't started yet so by right workload will increase=( learnt a little more abt photocopying and sorting the complicated invoices. but i got a feeling that by monday i wld have forgotten everything.

6) been having the runs for 3 days straight. sprained ankle, paper cuts and blade cut on my fingers=( been having headache with all the all-term staring at computer too=(

7) going to work alone one day next wk. the other temps aren't coming in to work with me on my birthday coz they gotta collect their A level results =( sad.

8) feeling pretty darn stressed with working.

9) reached home at 1215am after the movie and made the mistake of walking by the temple which was extremely daunting because there wasn't a single person down that long stretch of road,.. instead of stopping at the bus-stop with residential estates. so i called/woke up my sis halfway to ask her to talk to me...until her hp died and i was soooo scared when this lorry filled with abt 5 workers drove past me and i pretended to talk on my hp with no one on the other side. the last thing on my mind was preparing myself for a FIGHT for retaliation lest the lorrry shld stop beside me.

10) cldn't contain the emotions anymore and cried while bathing.

11) didn't have proper dinner last night. office had a end of mth buffet for pple's birthdays who fell in feb. had a hotdog and yummy yoghurt for LUNCH. And had a chocolatey eclair, a sweet/savoury tart, 1 1/2 mini spongecakes and some banana-choc cake from the birthday cake and later popcorn and an ice-lemon tea during the movie--- for DINNER.

didn't think that the one who i saw online at 1am, offered to stay online a while more to listen to my complains and cheer me up, wld be the one i used to have a crush on. and had a nice chat with this new perm staff who's been wking there for a mth already. she told me she didn't like that woman who scolded me too. is that supposed to sound comforting?...

i am no superwoman=( just a really stressed-out office worker.

btw, when i got bk, i checked the almanac that i got for friday. it happened to be an "inauspicious" day, instead of an "auspicious" or "average" day. it terrifies me that it's qte accurate. and the next blardy "inauspicious" day falls on my birthday, the day that i'll be working alone too. darn. i am really scared that the prediction might be true...i think i need purple crystals or sth. maybe i shld bring more crystals to work, pray more and erm...what else can i do??? *thinks* ...

i just kicked the fan at the exact location of my open wound. halleluya. my left ankle is really breaking. my left ankle seems to be deteriorating as i stagger my way up and down the bus.

today i was called to stand-in for the receptionist because she was on mc. so i sat at the reception the entire day. it was...erm...interesting, save some horrible moron who screamed "this is crazy!!!" into the receiver and hung up on me (I hate it when pple hang up on me -.-) when the couple of extension lines i put him through bounced back and he cldn't get to speak to the person. OUCH. piang eh. after he did that, i just sat there and stoned. i was just completely STONED. like what the heck just happened man. it ain't easy being a receptionist, esp when there are such horrible pple on earth. but must say there were some really kind pple (a couple of caucasian customers) who, on seeing me panick when i had to scan through the some 120+ staff's namelist, told me it's alright when i made them wait. etiquette man. pple, it's called etiquette!!!

yup, so i was signing like a celebrity and stamping documents when the DHL pple sent parcels. Oh and distributed stationery to the staff when they came for CDs, pens, file etc too. LOL. me. the bookshop auntie.

put through some wrong extensions too =X there were some pple of the same name which made life so hard for me. it was pretty embarrassing when this china man with his phoney accent called up searching for "barry"--i thought he said "valerie" (sounds the same right=P) so i put him thru to valerie and when the call got back to me, he sounded darn pissed with me for putting thru to the wrong person. argh. Sorry Lah. =( and initially, the comp didn't work so i had to scan thru heaps of departments and names on 2 lists of paper just for that ONE person. took me forever. and the worst thing was, some didn't even know the department so i had to search one by one. but i suppose life was better when the dodgy comp was fixed.

but one of the down parts of being a receptionist is that you got hold your bladder darn well. quick pees and stuff lest the phone shld ring...hmm it was qte fun i reckon. wah, i sat down at my desk at 9am then the girl gave me confusing stuff to file again. And 5min into it, the guy came over and asked me to stand-in for the receptionist. then i asked him "what abt these things I am doing?" WAH then he said "just leave it, i told XXX already." WAH.....................the feeling of getting away from work rocked man...hahahaaR...my knight in shining armour.

feeling darn fat with all the sedentary sitting ard lately.

work is starting to pick up pace. so many things to do. so confusing. so stressful.

i think i sprained my ankle when i fell while standing at my desk with heels =P and it's probably a case of overworked left EHL too. argh. my toe and inner sole hurts. hurt when i started running for the bus=(

and i think i might be getting a flu soon. i feel cold =(

working is bad for health.

where's friday???

my first day at work. didn't think i wld be involved in office politics. wth. there's always this seemingly bimbo-like image in every office. the one who talks at the top of her voice the entire day, boasts abt her new gaudy top and screams from one end of the office to the other for a plaster because she has a BLISTER ON HER FOOT from her fanciful heels. damn. okay okay, i shall stop bitching. =P

anyway, kicked started the day at 645am. walked to the bus-stop. so happened to miss my busES again. but fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) my neighbour, 3 houses away drove past the bus-stop to fetch her daughter who happened to be waiting for a bus to the mrt station too. This very same neighbour that i have lived with for 6 yrs and NEVER exchanged words with nor even knew they were my neighbours. so i stepped into the car dumbfounded, wondering who the heck's stranger's car i've just hopped in. (note: i hopped in because my mum asked me to- i thought they were her friends from the park LOL) Turned out that...it was midway in the car that I realised that I HAD JUST seen the man 3 gates down my house this morning when i was walking out to catch my bus. Oh so they were my neighbours. hAHhaHA.

ok. i was 20min early today even though i strolled my way into the office. must say the scenery along the way was alluring. especially that z6103 hp in every shop window. so i walked and i walked and i walked for 20min straight. the blardy escalatorS didn't work as usual and we've been paying tax for what?! (at least i thought i was paying tax. haha=P) argh. and 15min into wearing that darn heels, i almost sprained my ankle twice. damn to that again. and why do i keep having that itching feeling that i'd not be in this job for long. Perseverance. Perservance. Perseverance.

been doing filing and stuff. and i came to the conclusion that I AM A WORKAHOLIC. after sitting for 10min straight without anything to do and a computer with internet in front of me, i decided that i didn't know (dared not) what to serve for. SO...i asked my fellow colleagues if i cld assist them. in pasting scotch-tape and sorting out files. actually, sorting files are fun=) a step, or rather, a day nearer to achieving my dream of working ard raffles place=P i reckon my stoning powers are gradually subsiding...saded.

nearing lunch, this consultant gave me a 'customary' an hr plus talk abt the company. very interesting indeed=) sth abt fuel oil, bunkering, cargo and heaps of companies they'd done trading with...(if you're interested, i can show you the piece of paper he printed out for me=))with ugly nice pictures hand-drawn too. hehe. sth you'd probably never be able to get out of a textbook. never stepped out of the office today. the whole 'normal' talk ate into lunch. but the other 3 gals who went out for lunch got me bread=) which i didn't eat because that consultant got me rice. =P hahaaR...oh and did i mention my cubicle overlooks a panaromic view of marina bay, esplanade, raffles and heaps of hotels? =X but i think we might be transferring to either the cargo, bunkering or accounting department soon. blah. oh this guy caught me playing the ONE game that I happened to play the whole day-spider solitaire when he walked past my desk and joked (he better be) that he'll cut my pay. haha. wth. he just SO HAPPENED to be that place at that time.

afternoon sped past and all of a sudden, it flew from 2 to 4 then to 6. and as i stepped into the sardine-packed mrt once again, another day has gone by just like that. tmr will be another tiring day.

i am superwoman. sigh.
btw, where's superman.

we are similar in that everyone of us has a past, present and future. Each and everyone of our fate is different yet bounded by a similar destiny.

scuttle, scuttle, run. i nEeEEeEd my 'stress-ball'.

come and visit me. come come come...=P

i learnt that my greatest fear is to rot my days away, like an ah pek idling at the coffee shop, knowing that i cld have done much, much more.

i am blardy darn stressed by my mum.

i can foresee that i'll be even more stressed by the days.

i am officially afraid of wasabi.

i know who to ring up if i can't sleep. waHhahhaR~ *evil laughter* =P

苦在心头难开kou3.

happy :)
happy-tired
happy-stressed
but happy. thank you, the One Up Above=)

and i was so prepared to abandon my blog. but i guess at 12am when my thoughts run amok, only You will be listening to me. so here i am.

who am I trying to kid? my life is in a total wreck now.

it seems so easy to say that everything will be ok again but it's just so hard to do it.

it really hurts very, very much to see my parents feeling down. they don't deserve it.

i have a terrible throbbing headache. my head is exploding, as in literally.

i looked into the mirror. i laughed at myself, i weeped at myself. And i shouted b*tch.

i wanna fly away to utopia.

i wanna migrate to japan.

crap. my head really hurts. i am going to try to sleep.

song on radio: coco lee--reflection

happy valentine's day, you pest.

the bimbo's rambling again...

Helloooooooooooooo! it's me again=P i shld be going on a shopping spree tmr. Just felt like it. you're welcome to join me. haha=)

was just counting the number of colour tops i have. 7 pink, 7 blue, 6 white and the rest are just few and pathetic. yet i have the urge to buy another white one. by right, i shld be buying any of the other colours not mentioned instead but seriously, i don't like them so...how. maybe i can get a brown or a light yellow (yellow...eew...too...nvm...not exactly my colour=P) sigh. how now brown cow.

hehe. i have a grand total of 4 black winter coats. Now you know why i am not exactly the friendliest person in aust ^.^

lalalalaalaa~

oh to add to my list of shopping items...speaking of which I HAVEN'T gotten ANY of those that i listed out earlier. haha...

added:
5) a short small dangling silver earring. i am getting tired of wearing those i have...
6) a top. any nice top. just feel like spending again. oh dear...i must be feeling sad... ?! or maybe shopping's become an OCD =P
7) a white bag. to match my tops. the pink bag is seriously impeding me from wearing any pink =(

.......The Dodo strikes back........

oh. to add to my clumsiness, i ToRe my skirt yesterday =OP was an accident!!!!!! REally!!!!!! it wasn't like a big blooper (thank God) or whatever but just the bottom back-of-calf-part which was held together by just some sleazy inconspicuous thread. what happened was...i was merely trying to cross over the hair-dryer wire (which was abt half a metre high) in my room and wALaAaA~-----split. so now instead of the small 2cm gap at the back of the calf area...it's just a slit. LOL. *pulls hair out* sigh.

Valentine's Day is a sad sad day for guys like me. We get to see all those couples being lovey-dovey to each other, guys planning romantic dates and giving thoughtful (=expensive) gifts, cuddling their lover under the moonlight while whispering sweet nothings. Making out, getting laid, and displaying their affections in public. We single guys look at all that and swear vehemently that when WE get girlfriends we would not do all that just becaused of some commercially hyped occasion like Valentine's Day. Instead we will spend the day play DOTA at the local lan shop with our buddies. We would not be slaves to our partner, buying 99 roses and having expensive dinners.

But, the sad, sad, sad truth is that we WILL do all that. We will spend our entire NS allowance for the month on a bunch of roses and chocolates and teddy bears, and beg and borrow to afford that expensive candlelight dinner. We will carry your shopping bags and pay for your skirts and shoes. All that and more, just to make our girlfriends happy. The only problem is we are still single and (very much, in fact desparately) available. *cue tears* And yes, we are jealous of all you couples. So excuse us while we spend 14 Feb at home with the computer, and animated pixels in the shape of a sexy female night elf mimicking pole dancing.

~~*QUOTED from a friend's blog
hehe...so sweet =X
blAh. whatever.

my feet hurts. high heels are a bane. Really. i've got blisters with torn skin after wearing them for only an 1hr =(

good news? yes? no?

why is my mum always embarrassing me=( darn.

my mandarin sux. i don't even know what bedok is in chinese. argh. who wld remember it in chinese!!! Not me.

i think i am blogging too much. but HECK. i really need to air my views on certain things. And so I've been going thru a series of rollercoaster rides that even i myself cannot fathom what in the world is going on.

Yesterday: I spent the afternoon playing piano and listening to CDs- oldies (90s)- richard clayderman and this CD compilation called-To the One I Love. ballade pour adeline. The one song that will always remind me of my neighbour back when i was living in serangoon. that was 16 years ago but each time i hear that song, it just feels as though she (i think) is playing next door. Then there was this song- Right Here Waiting. my 1st favourite song when I was only 6. And probably will always be one of my favourites.
Then I spent a couple of hours talking to my mum till 1am. (I love my mum=)) I told her how I felt, behind each hesistated contemplated thought. For a while, i know tears were already on the verge of falling out but i choose not to cry in front of her and I am glad that she didn't see me cry. probably everything has a reason to it. it's probably a blessing.

Anyway, today i finished a book called "101 simple lessons for life" i read it because its chapters were short compacted. anyway, it's qte interesting.

Tmr...i have plans. Hopefully they turn out well. *fingers crossed*

Seriously, I think i am very much like "tae-young", this character from the "LoversInParis" currently airing on mon and tues nights 7pm on channelU. (catch it if you can) it's a nice show. After comparing with her, I realised that we are very similar. you don't have to read from here onwards if you're not interested in my life. Here goes:

Right now, she is desperately finding a job (and she was sad that she had to sell her ticket for returning to paris because she's got too many household bills to pay in seoul).
She has too many ups and downs in her life that she is constantly struggling to keep herself alive.
Although she is always smiling, sometimes she just breaks down especially when she's alone. And also when the male lead breaks her heart.
She's always in a daze.
She likes to day-dream and reminise her times, happy or sad, with the male lead.
She brings her camera with her everywhere to take pictures of herself to freeze time.
She brings a voice recorder wherever she goes to record her feelings at that point of time (I use my diary)
She's quite blur.
She has a strong character.

...BUT...
the diff is...
she's pretty
And she always seems to meet the male lead somehow, unintentionally. that's the thing abt shows...

Too much probing, hope and expectations can be painful. Sometimes, you just need a listening ear. Someone you know you can trust 24/7 and who will never forsake you. I want the Lord to show me THE ONE He has planned for me. No more heartaches, wrong choices and disappointments. just THE ONE.

Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and Wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

Song on class95: Eternity.

how nice if we cld live life without attachments. it's pretty unpragmatic but with physical, (especially emotional) comes certain strings of yearning. the hope, the crave, the want, which i guess are excruciating in the long run. the saddest part is, in this world, nothing is certain. therefore it is analogous to floating in the vast ocean and hanging onto a buoy that we have no idea when will deflate. but in saying so, we can choose to relish the best of the experience or worry abt the impending doom. personally, there are so many things that are beyond my control and it is with an extremely heavy heart that i have to bid farewell with certain things in life. be it friendship, my future or love. whatever the case, it's all part of God's plan and I have faith in him.

2 of my dreaded days of the year are coming and i just wish i cld fly away.

blah. 

sad kid. 

=) 

happieeeeeee=)

omg omg omg! my friend is so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet! thx for the present n the card girl=) haha i almost cried. i think this episode has really made me open my eyes bigger. i know who my true friends are now=) oh and my friend and i wore the same colour top again!!! haha...so got mo4 qi4 right. hehe...it's happened the 3rd outta 5 times we met since i came back already.........haha

ooo i bought a blouse. wahahahR~ feeling a little wicked today. Nah, i bought it because of my previous experience with the thongs=( i won't see it again. just not fated to buy. moral of story--if you like it, just buy it! a reflection of the nike Just Do It!...oh i have decided to buy the badminton racquet. kinda wanna play badminton but i guess yesterday i just wasn't in my shopping mood. today i am!=P

went for a marathon walk with dkowl yesterday...fun...thx=) let's go to harbourfront the next time!

i was a dodo yesterday. took a train from dhoby ghaut to bugis via outram park. how silly i was. it was big a loop. any-oh-how, i wasn't angry. in fact it was refreshing. i had the whole train almost to myself and those were stations that i had never ever crossed before=) hehe but sooooo sorry to the person who had to wait while i was on the verge of getting lost =P

anw...it's always nice to know that old friends remember you and that they are doing fine too. coming to think of it, the predictions for my zodiac sign is pretty accurate =X or maybe it was mere coincidence?

this date is a special day that I wish I cld forget.

Don't lose your day
with each passing day
you've come so far
don't throw it away

lurveeeee this song.

Gambatte! I will survive. do you believe in miracles?...

i need a job with goooood pay. any lobang, anyone?=P driving can wait.

can you spot the moon?  

on the way out 

shiok. so empty. in pink somemore. hAhA 

moonie 

big temple beside my hse 

mini temple beside my hse 

been a naughty girl today. did sth out of boredom =X don't ask me what i did.

==totally unrelated==

oh CRAP. I am in deep trouble.
Oh God Pls help me ='(