Today I took a tram to sch. In the tram, this blonde who was reading a chi passage asked me if I spoke mandarin. Then she asked me how to read this word which turned out to be 'xu1' as in 'xu1 xin1'=humble. Then she asked is it "x?" then I was like "yup...x-u" hehe then she looked up the chi dictionary which she cldn't find in the dictionary initially as she skipped a page. Interesting stuff...=)

Because of you...

Been a bad gal today=P

Went shopping with my friend and for the 1st time, tried on a handful of clothes...(I don't usually do that. Too lazy to change out of my clothes.) And that made me very happy=)

My friend bought a bag and we were on the hunt for sunnies as well. Unfortunately, nth caught my eye. I think I am really picky =P

I came across a few clothes that I really really really fancy (now that's a rare thing...) but I didn't like the price. Hence, I didn't purchase them. Had I wanted to be a bad gal, I wld have bought them THEN tell my mum. But bleh. Then after my friend left, I chanced upon sth of a similar sort and my urge and desire was so strong that I had to buy it. (I actually spent 1 hr in the dressing room=X but I walked in and out a couple of times though) Happy with my find=) Still a little pricey I think, but oh well. =X haha...

I thought I actually needed someone to drag me out of shopping. I reckon once I start getting into the mood of retail therapy, I am instoppable...hehe...

But still...those 3 bottoms-2 pants and 1 mini skirt...geez...I wish I had infinite cashflow. I bet you too. >_-

Jeans: $129
Pants: $60-ONE DAY when I really have to succumb to temptation...=P
Mini skirt: $60 (But then again...white makes your ass look big...haha...hehe an excuse not to buy it...haha actually I think I don't really like it anymore...my skirt's better! haha)
A pink top: $50 (didn't really really really like it)
Another normal top: $20-(didn't really feel like buying)

Maybe...just maybe I'm a bit high today. I'm a shopaholic. That's a rarity. hahaa...Erm...or maybe not. Guess it depends on my mood.

I am not a spare tyre. I am not a spare tyre. I am NOT a spare tyre.

A thunderstorm is brewing. The wind was so lethal that each time I cleared my foot off the ground, the impact of the gust just sweeps me and I find myself heading in another direction. I cldn't even steer my path anymore. That powerful.

Muddle-headed me went to sch today at 9am and discovered the whole of the 7th floor of the med blding empty. Cld have slept in for 2 more hrs. =(

You know, I reckon my life hasn't started yet.

I wanna go to the beach. Seeking solace in my make-shift paradise for the time being.

Where does the end of the rainbow lead to? Is there really a silver lining in the clouds?...

Ah!!! The eternal nightmare of the female counterparts. I just witnessed 2 guys attempting to tuck the extra inch of their boyish-cut hairstyle behind their ears. Argh NOOOOooo!...PLEASE DON'T EVER do that [in front of me]!!! It just entirely made me wanna regurgitate my lunch. For goodness sakes, trim the extra inch of long unkempt growth and quit acting like a supermodel trying to hide that cascading split-end long hair of yours behind the scruffy ears [to allure] gals!!! eeks!!!.....!!!...eeeeks!.....

OMG. I know it's the hungry ghost festival and I never thought that I wld be bugged by the church pple. I conclude: They don't understand English. Bloody freaks. 10 emails in 1 1/2 weeks. How idiotic.

God I really learnt my lesson abt not giving my email add out already...Pls STOP FORWARDING THE FREAKING EMAILS!!!............I am so never going back to that church again. What a big big mistake.

Someone help me.

Life at a standstill

When there are ups, there are bound to be downs. Maybe that's why I don't fancy a sky rocket mood.

Was supposed to sell a book today. [happily] lugged the book to sch only to have the buyer msg me 10 to, saying that he can't make it today. Thanks man. Really.

Fortunately, my bag wasn't that heavy today. But he wants to meet tmr. When my bag weighs a ton with prac manual, a neuro book and water bottle.

Emilyn's life is at a standstill. I miss home so badly today.
Emilyn woke up on the bloody wrong side of the bed today. No actually, it was last night. Where was he? What the heck am I doing?

I've got a test next week. All I can think of now is stoning. Halleluya.

68 more days...I feel like I am in prison. Maybe even in hell.

Ok. THIS is getting on my nerves. BIG TIME. 2 emails everyday from the ocf. Like HELLO?! STOP FLOODING MY MAILBOX!!!!!!....I seriously don't think God encourage spamming. Argh. Costly lesson man. Never ever ever ever x 100000000 give your email add to some church pple. I emailed 1 person yest and asked her to spread the word for me. Today? 2 other pple emailed the old email add. I cldn't tahan anymore. I just fwded the whole bloody list not to flood my mailbox and I sure do hope that they understand English.

Where is he!!!???!...

Pretty lazy to update actually. But just feel like channelling a form summary of my day. Blah. Whatever. =P

My prac tutor's pretty quirky, I reckon. He said physio must have a sense a humour. Hah!...Then today he used a belt to do the lateral caudad glide and said to the patient "you don't seem to be doing very well so I am going to belt you." What the?!...anyway, the position looked odd. the patient lies on the bed supine and has her knee propped up so the sole of the foot is on the bed. Then the physio ties a blue belt ard his butt and ard the pt's thigh (so it's 1 circle of belt held tog). And the physio move back a little, so the pt's leg is pulled downwards towards the bottom of the bed. Then he said "you don't stick out your butt...it looks odd" (As though...haha you get the drift...) then the student burst out into a raucous laughter.

Today in the morning, my friend and I were accosted by a foreign guy who was asking the way to royalwomen's hospital. Then after directing him eg. turn right, turn left, he still didn't get it. So he beckoned the guy friend to hop into his car while he guided him to the hospital. He gestured to me to come along too but refused partly because I was running late for anat tutorial and I think my teachers in sch used to me warn me of the dangers of accepting an offer from a stranger...=p

Later in the day, my friend told me that he guy said he was from iraq. =X and that my friend was at class just before 10am...(btw...tuts start at 9am...) but anyway, my tutor who was different from his, was late. So close that I was on the verge of leaving for another class with another tutor. Apparently, he lost his way...but I am glad he came. Guess he was a good tutor compared to the tutors from the past 4 wks...

I learnt something new during lect today.

Fact Number 1: males master a language at an earlier age than females.
Fact Number 2: an experiment which showed males and females a pic of their loved ones revealed that...*drum roll* (through a brain scan)...revealed that females associate the pic with Emotions and Love. While THAT OF A MALE elicited Sexual Arousal (and lust). LOL.
Probably to do with testosterone...

How interesting and true...=P

OK. THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.
By not going to ocf for the 2nd week, I've got........7 FREAKING EMAILS from the church pple. They are happily flooding my mailbox. GOD BLESS THEM. ARGH. Lesson learnt: SHLD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER...and I still can't emphasize EVER EVER EVER give your email address to some church pple. =(
Already informed the person that I wasn't attending anymore and not to send me the emails. Which part of "DON'T HAVE TO UPDATE ME ON OCF ANYMORE" doesn't she understand. Haiz haiz...

On a light note, let's give thanks to the Lord today=)
Shall list the happy things today (and everyday, hopefully)

Up part:

1) my friend gave me a sheepish smile today=) from the other far end of the LT. Another up pt: this girl thought I was grinning back at her so she smile back at me too=P

2) Great weather today. Chilly. But that's the point! And the sun was shining too albeit a drizzly day-the kind where dollops of rain just fall haphazardly from the sky.

3) Up part: Monday is over!=)

4) Had 1 more hr to sleep in today. Down point: cld have slept for 1 more hr...went to sch to discover that there was no prac...=X

5) Down pt: Met my last sem's anatomy prac tutor at safeway-I seem to be always meeting him. And today I didn't manage to dodge him. p.s: I think he looks like a smiling potato...=P Anyway...up part: It made me shop faster to avoid him and thus escape from contemplation of purchasing the 'wonderful junk' that has been tempting and enticing me to gobble them. =P

6) Up point: I didn't see him today!=)

7) Up point: It's one more day less to going home!=)

lalala~~~
I've been thinking of pigging in so much. Cheesecake gives me the jitters now...

God Bless our day!...

I had a crazy dream last night. I dreamt that I was getting married. HahA! And I think it was pretty disastrous. Like they made me do stupid things like walking ard the church with my 'husband'. Weird...and I was peering at my husband. Apparently someone I didn't know in real life. haha. He was a head taller than me and I was at the height of his shoulders. He used pretty rugged and had a rather big build. I supposed I was qte protected under his shield. haha. I remember vaguely preparing for the wedding. haha. And I think I was wearing something pink and white and was painstakingly deciding which pair of earrings to wear. haha okok. This is getting pretty ridiculous. And then I think my dad was asking me to write some chinese idiom in chinese calligraphy which I totally sucked at it. I recalled looking out of a HDB flat with my dad (and mum) and the bldings all ard were randomly changing colours with different tinges of contrast colours- it wasn't solely 1 colour. I've always had wedding jitters and I think this is the 2nd nightmare I have in my life involving a wedding. Geez, I so dun wanna get married...=)

Some inspiring verses...

Extracted from the ENW and...how inspiring=)

TODAY before you think of saying an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your spouse, think of someone who's crying out for a companion.

Before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children, think of someone who can't have any.

Before you argue about your dirty house, think of the people who are living on the street.

Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who has to walk.

And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed and those who wish they had your job

When depressing thoughts pull you down, put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive.

Life is a gift, live it, enjoy it, celebrate it.

yay. my cousin is thinking of coming to aussie for uni!...And there's another one going perth next yr!!! hehe...*excited*....things can only get better=) God Almighty...

I m still not hungry after binging the whole of last night...haha...man must have eaten a mammoth of junk...

Ah. I reckon it feels good to be drunk. To feel high. Even if it was for a sparingly wee moment. I cldn't sleep in today, even though I slept so late last night. Just my habit I think. I wanna get drunk again. HaHa.

Gd morning Saturday!...

Woaw. Had a blast tonight. Went chiong-ing tonight. Haha. No lah. Went for a party organised by my sis's cell tonight. Was great fun socialising and meeting new peeps.

But I feel so crappy thinking abt the junk I ate tonight. So darn guilty=(
Let me list what I ate. It was pot-bless. So...darn it lah. I am so grossed out. I wish I cld do the gag reflex which is induced vomitting.

-2 slices of tiramisu-with a whole damn lot of thick creamy cheese=(
-2 helpings of fried beehoon
-1 fried potato ball
-1 cup of cookies and cream ice-cream
-1 slice of sinful blueberry CHEESECAKE. Darn.
-1/2 bowl of lettuce
-a handful of salad with crabstick and dressing
-1/4 potato from curry chicken
-1 mini crunchie bar
-2 cups of apple juice
-1 chicken drumlet
-1 slice of chicken pizza...

ARGH. I probably ate the equivalent of 3 meals. X_X

but man I guess I had a good time. It was held at someone's place- IH college (aka hostel) and it was a nice place. I was suspecting that I got drunk because I felt so 'high' after eating the tiramisu which had a fair bit of alcohol in there. Probably am still allergic to it. Shall see if rashes pop up tmr. Hehe. The pple were really funny. Lame. blah. Played hollywood squares which had this guy acting as mr bean and he was soooo sooo sooooo freaking funny. =P
Way past my bedtime. Shall just fall limp on my bed now...o_o

Sleepy friday morning...

Sleepy friday morning. Here I am, bumming ard in the computer lab. I had a sweet dream last night. =) It made me smile. It made my heart skip a beat. But I had to wake up at the chocolatey part...

I hadn't had a sweet dream in eons...

He's so cute. haha...

It's 10am and I just had my lunch. Cldn't tahan lah. =X

Just wanna bum ard (and dream...)

The uni's very vacant as usual. Everyone's probably sleeping or mugging at home. 3 more hrs.

1. wanaka-NZ
2. japan
3. bahamas
4. fiji island
5. hamilton island
6. new york city
7. edinburgh-scotland

these are the places I watched on tv where really really really really really wanna visit! '_'

Another history lesson-straight from the textbook

It's been a long and trying day-but not solely mundane. It's been eventful with a [large] tinge of comedy. Read on if you have the patience=) Here goes...

Went to sch this morning and had to walk through an aisle as usual, where everyone who had prac was waiting outside for the prac rms to open. I strided across the aisle and an "OUCH!" pierced through the air and screeched into my ears. I looked over my shoulder and this girl was sitting on the floor with so many others. Stark realisation that I had stepped on her foot. Track shoes vs throngs. Not a very nice combi. Anyway I was so apologetic abt the whole thing that I felt qte bad. =X Then I met her again later in the day and I was still apologising. Then she said that it in fact wasn't that painful, just that she had screamed so horribly. Oh well.

Then at tut. Another boring tut as usual. With a tutor who probably had zero knowledge abt his anatomy. This peer wanted to shift seats so that she cld jolt down the notes as a paper scribe. And being an ass with colossal ego again, the tutor commented that "you prefer my left side?" I think everyone including me was abt to throw up. And throughout the pbl he was kept questioning our ideas--without contributing any...as usual...nvm.

Prac was even more hilarious today. It struck me that my prac tutor has a witty sense of humour...or maybe eccentric? Today we were touching on the hip so we were reminded to wear nice undies-no g-strings and stuff. And when it came to the time when we were ready for lesson, he 1st asked if anyone was wearing g-strings. Then he said those who were had to go a corner and practise with another person who was wearing g-strings too because it wld be unfair if someone felt embarrassed abt being palpated just because she wasn't wearing the right undies. And he had to call it 'G-string corner'. LOL.

And when it was time to split up into pairs to practise during this super invasive prac session, I asked him if I was palpating piriformis correctly by demonstrating the way I wld do it. Then he said 'No.'--with a straight face. Followed by a couple of seconds of dead silence. The way he said it was really intimidating. He's always expressionless. So I stood there, hoping that he wld show me again. He did. But not after just standing there and saying 'no'. -Silence- Then after abt 5s of you-stare-at-me-i-stare-at-you-time, he showed me. Weird stuff.

Then immediately after that, he came up to me and called my name. For a moment I freaked out. Because of his emotionless face again, I thought the next few words that wld come out of his mouth wld be sth like "Did you attend L's session?" or "Why didn't you turn up for L's session?......" Apparently I was wrong. He's just qte hard to decipher as a person I guess. Just another of those deep sophiscated pple who never leak out what they are thinking. It's terrifying. Anyway...the next few words turned out to be:

him: "Did you say that you were from singapore?..."
me: "yes"--(actually I never said it...haha I don't know how he knew anyway)
Then he said: "Was it National Day last tuesday?"
me: "yes"-(-shocked)
him: "I know because there's a student from singapore in my tutorial and she said it was national day and she didn't attend on tues..."
haha...Then what he asked me turned out to be even weirder...

him: "Who's the prime minister of singapore?" (hahahahhaR...I was trying to suppress my laughter)
me: "It used to be GCT, but now it's LSL...He's the son of the senior minister"--(I didn't know what crap I was talking abt anyway...haha)
him: "Who's the president of singapore?"
me: "SR nay-than... "
him: "Who?"
me: "SR naa-than" (haha...I didn't know the right way to pronounce it...)
him: "is he tamilian?" (is there such a word?=P)
me: "er...yah..." [not very convinced...haha] (hey indian doesn't mean tamilian right?...)
him: "oh...Is there re-election or sth?"
me: "yes...he's still the president..." (hehee...)
him: "Coz I read in the newspapers abt it..."
me: "oh ok..."

Hahaa.....woaw it's been ages since anyone asked me abt the government system of singapore. haha. But I guess I am proud of my country!=)

We were onto an extremely invasive session today as mentioned: Palpate the 'pubic symphysis'. In case you were wondering...it's the bone immediately under the private part. haha. Yes. Palpate that. It was really awkward lah, despite palpating over the towel...And we had to palpate the border of that bone too. My partner and I decided not to do it, after much giggles and contemplation. It was purely a case of molestation. It was bad enough that a male teacher demonstrated on a student already!...=P but it was all in the name of PHYSIO. hehe=) Oh and he was palpating the gluts too (the butt muscles)--actually, we did those stuff last year already so it wasn't anything new to have pple literally jabbing your ass and erm...palpating your private part. Hmm...I think I've gotten fairly open-minded as a result of the course. hehe...=)

Oh and when it came down to stripping, my partner and I happened to have the same undie. Haha. Okay...not that you were interested or sth...=P But then my partner was like "sisterhood...sisterhood..." haha.

During the initial subjective assessments, where we had a pseudo scenario for us to ask a patient questions on his pathology, when it came to my turn, I asked if he (the tutor/patient) had any sudden weight loss--(to indicate presence of cancer) then he was like "No...I wished I had." Like what the?!...haha

Oh then when he was demonstrating an objective assessment, he said "because women have breasts, it may be better to put a towel between the knee and your chests (when you are using your body mechanics) because some physios may feel uncomfortable. And the towel works for the biomechanics too..." then when he said "women have breasts...blah blah blah, but not me...I WISHED I HAD..." haha. I don't know lah, he was being very lame today. But he's a decent bloke...so not like pple freaked out or what...it's more of a casual joke thingy-and oh yes, with a expressionless face-so it was even funnier. Oh and when he said "I don't have breasts, everyone was laughing at this indian guy who has this ultra-toned body (it was as if he takes steriods). but anyway, they were kind of implying he has breasts. Haha. It was really funny.

On my way home...had a walking buddy. met a prac mate on the way as she wld walk to school too. Then as we conversed, I was just asking her if she had ever been to sg and I asked her if she'd ever been to sentosa. Then she wanted to say that she went on the.....(she was thinking very hard) ..me: "merlion?" hmm...*thinks* "Cable Car." "Yes!"oh and she commented that she was very surprised how clean sg was. Hehe. =P Geez I never thought anyone wld be interested in a cable car. I thought they had it everywhere!!!...=P

Oh I was looking at the boards with displays and posters which were out for the open day. The list of places to go to for the 3rd/4th yr 4 wks clinical placement...there were so many destinations to choose from...but I think I've roughly got 6 (out of the many) on my mind. Either one...

1) vanuatu
2) england
3) new zealand
4) singapore
5) fiji island
6) canada

then there was
HK, msia, thailand, is that cambodia?-can't remember..., austria and many many more. =P
but then who knows...(IF I ever get promoted to 3rd yr)...I may just end up in sg doing my placements. bleh.

I know it's a really long entry...haha but oh well=P Hmm...I really shldn't have given the ocf person my email add. Why does she have to send 3 emails at 1 go!...Can't she just compress all her crap into 1 email! Or don't even email me. AHHH...Expecting emails from the wrong person...

you made my day...

And it's wednesday!...Last night I was in Fantasy Island. One of the mystical paradises in the back of my head. I wasn't alone. I had someone with me in the clear blue crystalline waters. Last night I was on ecstasy high. I had someone describing to me the picture of the sun setting in sg. I felt as though I was home. The sky was pink. Then even darker pink. I know it was beautiful. It seemed as if I was standing right there watching it too. Anyway, in fantasy island, we went ice-skating, we swam with the dolphins, whales and mermaids. I had my own yatcht. We were standing on the deck; the breeze cool in my face. I cld feel it. It was surreal and for a moment I didn't want to wake up to the dream. I guess anything is impossible in fantasy...It had a wanderous 2hr fantasy. I was still smiling when I awoke this morning...
Btw...it wasn't a dream. My friend and I did paint this picture together. Both of us were on an island...just the 2 of us...For once, I wasn't alone in utopia...=)

Haiz. Missed Grey's anatomy tonight. Had planned to watch it. Well at least the last 1/2hr but then when I finished with the fiddling here and there and washing up stuff, it was already 10. =(
Oh well.

Hey You. Stop day-dreaminG!!!...Man I keep drifting off into my world everytime I hit the books=( how unproductive. Thinking of the impossible, unpragmatic impossibility again. Tonight the urge was stronger. But no. I am not going to succumb to this and embarrass myself again.

My heart will go on.

There was a storm brewing within a massive mess of clouds. Then slowly, it drifted and drifted, further towards the east, stealing away the remnants of what used to be a bright arc of rainbow. The whitish grey clouds left behind a city drenched in the aftermath of a downpour.

The wind must have been uplifting; it took away the stealthy intruder.

Call 1800-cloud-no-more to get your own "Cloud-no-more" today! Yours for only $29.95! Plus!!! The 1st 50 callers will get a free rainbow attached too! So what are YOU waiting for? Pick up the phone and dial 1800-cloud-no-more today!...

Haha. Pardon me, a bit lame today... =P

There is an advert on the radio that always manages to crack me up.

Seen a mole that doesn't look right? blah blah blah blah blah...
For moles that can be seen, call 1300 345 678
For moles that cannot be seen call 1300 345 679
For moles that are dark and large call 1300 345 680
For moles that are small call 1300 345 681
Blah Blah Blah...
As if pple have the patience to find out what mole they have before picking up the phone...!?

AH. Feel so crabby today. Just wondering, will the wind that took away the clouds take away my troubles too?...Wld be great if it did...

Today I asked myself a very serious question. A really crucial one indeed. Do I really want a bf? And I realised that my answer was no. Simple as that. So, I guess that is what I really really want. =)

It took me 5 min to boil down myself. I was frustrated at my sis for throwing away sth without asking me. Sth that wasn't even in her way. I walked in and out of my room. Before that it was 10.10. When I was finished with my chores, the clock was 10.15. I know that in the past it wld probably have taken me the whole night to chill out but not today. Maybe it's a coming of age thingy. Which also means that I AM OLD. =P But that doesn't mean that I am any easier to rile or be provoked. haha.

Man. My sis's keeps peeving today. =X.

Anyway...I just remembered that yesterday while watching the movie there was once when I think I actually felt the heat coming up to my head. And that was one of the parts when nudity was flashed across the screen. haha. That's a first. Never thought that I wld actually feel embarrassed watching a porn scene. haha

So don't wanna go to school tmr...
feel like kicking some ass. hahaa. Sorry. Probably another one of my night 'highs'. haha

reflection

If I wear a mask I can fool the world but I cannot fool myself

Chorus:

who is that girl I see,
staring straight back at me
when will my reflection show who I am inside.
..................

why is my reflection someone I don't know
must I pretend that I am someone else for all time
when will my reflection show who I am inseide
there's a heart inside that must be free to fly
................

why must we all conceal what we think how we feel
must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide.
I won't pretend that I am someone else for all time
when will my reflection show who I am insi-de?
When will my reflection show who I am in-si-de?...
................


If there was a song that can best describe me, it wld be "Reflection" by coco lee.

another beautiful day with the sun shining ever so brightly. best day for beach. but bleh. been going out on fri n sat. i will just drop dead if i bum ard today too. hmm...but the temptation is really seducing. haha. uploaded some pics. funny.

I can't help feeling blue now. Spent my sat out in the city today. Had jap lunch. Then a movie. Wedding crashers. I didn't realise that it was RA-ted. So much nudity that it somehow it felt a little like a sleazy strip show. But on the whole, it was pretty good. Not so much on the plot but it was humourous. Esp the the girl gloria. The one you see on the trailers. And the female lead was pretty. Haha. It was even funnier how the guy got molested and raped by a girl. hahaaa...

It was a warm day today with the sun shining high up in the sky. I don't know but somehow, somewhere, I cldn't halt recalling the experience with a friend. It was very, very awkard indeed. Moments of silence just kills me. It seems as though it is getting worse. It just makes me feel so, so depressed. I don't want history to repeat itself. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel good. It was supposed to be a happy day. But if all I was looking forward to was the movie where I don't have to wreck my brains to break the ice, I know it isn't right. I feel sad. My heart is rolled up in a mesh. Am I really so hard to talk to? Or is it that I talk too much? Again, I don't know why I felt qte tangled up when someone says that he loves his job. I feel so left out. Everyone is probably trying to fit in. Am I? I am but really, it isn't easy. My head and heart is filled with 'home'.

oh, I met an old friend with his gf. seems like everyone in biomed has a bf/gf.

andylau  

guess who?: andy lau behind a clay mask...  

haha. wilber is soooo cute=) 

Ridiculous

Went for ocf last night. Oddly enough, I didn't enjoy the back to basic bible study. There was this girl who was practically questioning the bible, questioning God. I know everyone does that and I know I used to do that too. But it was only thru this that I realised how annoying all these questions can get. I tried to answer her in any way possible that I could. Then I was thinking, perhaps she was a new christian, oblivious to the religion. However, I then realised that these pple had been going for ocf for ages so they were not newbies. In fact, this B2B is just part of their ocf. So...no new pple. Sad. I think I was considered the 'newest' even though I used to go...2 yrs ago. And I felt kinda estranged, taking in mind that this was the same church I attended 2 yrs ago. Met some familiar faces, some not so. We were kept in a room where we were basically nudging each other elbow to elbow and it was freezing in there. At the end of the study, they wanted to collect 5 bucks for the book and 20 bucks for...SOCIAL EVENTS. erm. being relatively new to this bible study, I thought it felt a little absurb. 20 dollars where I don't even know where the money will go to. And worse still, they wanted to meet up in the middle of the week during lunch to discuss more abt the bible study. Erm. I guess I just wasn't willing to spend anytime more than just the 2 hrs on fridays on bible study. There were 6 pple (5 excluding me) with 3 other pple hosting the group and they said it was big group. 5 pple--a BIG group? Like HELLO?...my sis's cell has nearly 10 odd pple who meet up every friday only man. Sure there are events once in a while in my sis's cell but whatever it is this B2B group simply sounds ridiculous to me. Oh and we had HOMEWORK. We had to do a 500-800 word testimony on WHY WE BECAME A CHRISTIAN. I asked the person why we had to do that and she said it was to remind us why we became one, because some of us forget. Er...Who can forget such stuff??!!!...I know very clearly why I became one. Then when I asked my sis if she had such HOMEWORK, she said the most she ever had to write was abt 100 words and that was for her baptism--to remind her what she herself wanted to say.

Well...I guess that wld be the 1st and the last time I will ever set foot into an ocf bible study group...

Hey there.
crap. I can't seem to get into a study mode this wk...

coincidentally, met my friend at myer's. I wanted to ask her during the pbl session if she wanted to go shopping but unfortunately she was sitting at the other end of the table and after class she had her feedbk session with the tutor...so I left first and walaR!~ when she got my missed call and called me bk when I was in myer's, she said she was at myer's too! hehe just a different department. small world.

I guess she's the first person I ever told (verbally) abt him. so it is out in the open. =) to her. she said she had a shock though. well well. mastery of disguise. haha. but i guess i felt a wee bit better after telling someone abt him. It's all in hope that she will help me forget him sooner...and she was basically praising him and stuff and I was like...erm pls stop telling me he's good and stuff!

Actually, I decided to tell someone today because I had a couple of nightmares last night. 1st I dreamt that someone wanted to kill me. =P then after waking up and falling asleep again for the last hour before my alarm clock rang, I was depressed that I had to dream of him again. Again. 22 times. It's horrendous. 22 times. That's even more than the number of years I've lived!...I dreamt that he was smooching with my friend. In the middle of a lecture. yup. And I was flabbergasted that I had felt sour. I have gone berserk. Save me.

A mere 12 degrees today. Was wrapped up in cotton and velvet so it wasn't so bad. feet hurt from all the walking. When I was at melb central, this dude promoting some fitness program at a temporary booth asked me when I was walking along "Do you train yourself regularly? Are you fit?..." sth along those lines. I smiled and walked away. ERM...are you trying to imply that I am fat?!!...thanks alot!!...

Gosh. I ate a sugary coated donut today during the tut! Darn. I felt sick immediately after eating. crap. It was all because I was hungry. I stretched out my hand, picked up the donut and the disgusting piece of fat (sugar) was falling all over my scribing notes, onto my jeans and jacket and on the floor. I really comtemplated eating that piece of crap. I really did!...oh man. I cldn't put it bk after picking it up can I...nobody wld dare to eat that. Actually not really, not like they cared abt hygiene anyway...oh heck. Point is, I ate a DONUT. Man. this sux.

the tutor was absent today. The outcome? we had our pbl session which saw [happy] pple flooding the room with profanities amidst our discussion.

"so the cerebellum is f***ed which results in her balance problems..."
"old age f***s her compensatory mechanisms..."
"basically because her brain is f***ed, so her gait pattern is altered..."

so on and so forth. basically anything that wasn't wking was f***ed.
i thought it was funny. lol.
and the pple who said these were all girls.

12 chilling degrees today. It snowed at great ocean rd yesterday. cool weather. (it's a pun).

movies galore! okie not really. upon flipping to the movie schedules in the papers:
Cinemas in the city-

-monster-in-law
-sin city
-land of the dead
-war of the lords
-fantastic four
-house of wax
-bewitched
-batman begins

-wedding crashers & KUNGFU HUSTLE!!!!!!?????!!!!! out TMR...

O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference.

We did TENS for physio prac today. Basically it helps to stimulate your muscles to contract. Feels funny actually. Kinda a tingling sensation and then you feel as if you are going into a spasm soon.

The value of listening. enjoyed my lunch today. had company. had a [hearty] chat with a friend today and she filled me in abt her 'special guy' which I thought felt so heart-warming. A friend's little tale. Glad to have someone listen to me too and to connect with someone at a certain level...I realised that I am not the only eccentric soul ard. Did I mention did I've been having strange dreams abt my pri sch lately? The night before I dreamt that I was in nyps canteen with an old bunch of pri sch friends. The next night I dreamt of some pri sch mates too. It's simply weird. So near yet so far. It's scary though. That you know you have flashbacks before you pass on. I don't know. Coincidentally, this friend said she's been dreaming of her pri sch too. Yesterday, sth hilarious. During pbl, we were writing chinese words on each other's pbl paper and I wrote "shen2 jing1 bing4" on her paper and being a m'sian she cld speak mandarin but not read all the words so she asked me was that 3 words "dian4 shi4 ji1"?=television. lol

Managed to dodge the rain. It's raining 'persians' and 'dalmatians' now. =P been a chilling day despite the weather forecast. tmr's gonna be worse.

yesterday, I got caught in a dodgy lift just before my test. -_- the life door literally crawls to close and it scares the heck out of me. It felt as if it will never open again. But it does it repeatedly, then springs to an open again. 3 times and that was it. I was out of the lift. In fact the whole grp of med and physio grp was out of it. At that rate, we were definitely going to miss the test. Thankfully, we boarded another lift and weren't late.

woaw. 5degrees tonight.

A nice warm bath is what I need now...=)

Grey's anatomy rocks! woohooo!~~
It's like a combi of scrubs and ER. Love it. >_-

quote of the day

Sometimes don't you think life is a joke?

after an exhausting day, don't you just wish that when you come back you can just blast the music and be in your own world where you don't get eyed by a hawk while typing on your comp or be interogated like a criminal?...

I do.

I was a little put off during the last few minutes of our self-discussion grp today, although I didn't display the horror. It is apparent that my grp detests the physio tutor but sometimes the things they blurt out are really the last straw. well, that [cute] and stinking tutor (or so I thought when he sat beside me on a damp rainy day) has a back prob. So he walking with a little limp. yes, at a tender age of I don' know...his twenties maybe? and today in the tut they were actually erm.."****" him and they were saying that pple gave him names, apparently not very flattering ones which somehow had to do with his pathology. I thought it was pretty crude. It was not as if he chose to have a hip problem of some sort. I am sure he can't help having a crooked gait pattern. and someone had to comment that he wasn't very attractive with his gait problem. well. It sounded a little harsh and mean to me. I guess the last thing someone wants is for someone to degrade them because of they unwanted abnormality, in this case, an arthritic hip...

i apologize for my rantings. just had a test and was down with flu and a block nose...1 more hr...
gotta run for a lect now...happy national day kids!...=)

Sunday morning

Boy, it's terrible trying to study for a test when you're sick. *sniff sniff* oh I have started to adopt the nasal voice due to my flu. It's involuntary. haha.

perhaps not everything is about love. there are pple who want a bf because of the wrong reasons...because they are bored and lonely. maybe...we shld just let nature take its course...=)

geez, just wondering...am I really a depressed person? haha I reckon depression maybe infectious, just like smiling. therefore, why not take up the positive and jilt the negative? =) afterall, a frown is a vicious cycle that merely repels pple. On the other hand, a smile chases the dark clouds away. so, why not smile today? (haha even though the sky's soooo cloudy!)...

There will always be pple who are trying to ruin our lives but maybe we just can't afford to succumb to them.

nobody said growing up was easy. but I guess wking with the less fortunate has made me realise and cherish what I have now...I realised maybe even the slightest things like moving my body and dancing to the beat of daniel powder's Bad Day or even rising from my seat and walking to the kitchen to throw an apple core shld never be taken for granted=)

God fixed my internet connection!!!=) Praise the Lord!...

Oh I didn't know mao's 4th wife was called jiang qing. you mean like jiang4 qing1=soy sauce? LOL.

I am not there to be taunted at or embarrassed by you.

sis asked me a very odd question. very queer indeed. she asked me 'no boys in sch like you meh?' and then somewhere along the lines amidst the vaccuuming sounds she had to relate it to so and so. i was totally rolling my eyes. how weird. I know why she asked though. kinda for a good reason (for herself). I remember her asking me some suspicious qn a couple of yrs before too=p

well yeah, the ans shld be obvious. not that I want to be bothered by it any way.

it's been a week of a topic abt romance. somewhere, somehow, sometime. weird.

please do me a favour. stop asking me abt that.

:Forlorn: A pang of depression

I just want to laugh at myself badly. Why must it happen to me time and again? It was one of the worst feelings I had probably since the start of the sem.

I am really silly right? I wishI didn't have feelings. Let me be a cold, crude person. This way, I will never be vulnerable again. If that was the end, why can't God just let it be? Why must I somehow always making myself feel so bad? What do I want? It was a terrible lecture. I cldn't concentrate and the last thing I wanted was to feel so forlorn. What is going on? I am being the pms bitch again. I want control of my life.

so near yet a world of a difference.

what's that verse about God giving me the courage to accept things that I cannot change and the ability to change things that I can?...God grant me...

I don't want to cry.
I don't want to cry.
I don't want to cry.

Sense and sensibility

Some things just don't make sense, in fact many things don't.

Somehow I wished my friend didn't break the news to me. It's just made me feel even more not at ease. Ok, maybe it really isn't a big deal. It doesn't make sense and not that it will anyway.

Stupid medial lemniscal tract, stupid anterolateral tract, stupid cranial nerves. Lectures are get from a complete loss- to a complete no sense.

Though it was only half a day, I feel bushed. Even the egg that my sis steamed is a mutant- 2 yolks, not even bound together by a pili. Just one overshadowing the other. I told my sis, if that was a chicken...it'll be a chicken with 2 heads-unknowingly grossing the both of us out even more.

Then the cooked egg. Today it was different. I can't believe I actually thought it resembled a brain. With the white matter and grey matter. A coronal plane. Like WTH. I can't even consume my lunch without getting bugged by some horribly disgusting neuro lesson.

My trigeminal nerves are going to work now. My facial nerves are going to enjoy the food. WTH.