Sigh. Mixed Feelings.

And so my stint is over. Today was an upheaval day. I just cldn't stop feeling guilty. guilty. guilty. Was some what mixed when i started my day. Happy that i didn't have to jostling and elbow pple in the mrt any longer, esp during sch hols and those stupid kids...then I don't know why. BUT sad that i won't be wking with them any more. why do pple have to be nice when ure leaving? That nice and kind christian lady bought me a carrot cake from crosstalk. It was gooooooood--sth that i had always wanted to try everytime I walked past every morning. Then today i had to stand in for the receptionist during lunch and that christian lady wanted to buy me lunch but i cldn't go away so she bought a slice of the cake bk for me. And my mum reminded me that I wasn't even from her dept so technically speaking, i wasn't under her and she wasn't obliged to do that. THEN that woman bought me a 30 pc box of ferraro rocher which i shared with the dept lah. Point is, yah she didn't have to again. Sigh. was qte touched. But...geez. It's part and parcel of life yah?

Oh in the morning the old man (my proclaimed mentor) called the 3 of us in--(the other girl was on leave) and started a talk abt responsibility and abt how we are the pillars of the future. Yes, More preaching from him. He sounded somewhat annoyed yet sad and though i feared a little that he might in every likelihood halt 2 of us from leaving the office on our last day, Thankfully, he didn't and THAT'S why I feel very bad. The nicer someone is towards me, the worse i feel. blah. And when we were in the middle of the'lecture', the WOMAN came in and almost quarrelled with him, for trying to stop us from leaving. Then she said she wanted me to do sth for her, (it's kinda an excuse for me to get out of the sticky situation--which I think I was thankful to her for doing that and getting me out of that tense room) And I felt bad again. ARGH. what's with me!!!!!

During lunch, my mentor happened to walk past the reception and saw me alone so he approached me and questioned my decision and the future, abt whether I wld come bk and work there again or not. He wanted my hp number (which he already had) and my email address. I felt bad. ARGH. Please don't treat me so nice. I loathe it.

Then the receptionist bought me 3 slices of square PIZZA from pizza hut. Technically, they are her leftovers from lunch. Initially, she asked me what i wanted, so i said anything. then later she asked if the personal pan pizza was fine for me? Then i said yes. But the thing I felt saddest was that I HAD TO EAT LEFTOVERS FOR STANDING IN FOR HER SHIFT. Hey, I don't get paid extra for covering others duties, in case you were wondering. So yah, I cld have by all means refuse and enjoy my last lunch. DaRn.

Sigh sigh sigh. I suddenly feel very empty. It's like a few mths of gruelling work and suddenly, I am just another bummer and wastral. =( Then the other person-in-charge of me approached me for the 2nd time and asked me if I cld extend my stay. another Headache for me and another boo boo for my day. I feel really bad for having to leave the chores behind despite the pleads. I hate myself for being soft-hearted. It hurts ALOT. :'( but i know that if i stay, i might never get a chance to leave again. Esp when everything is in the midst of it. Tell Me Lord, That I Made The Right Choice.

The biggest highlight of the day was: MY BOSS HUGGED ME. &^#*$&^$ I am totally amused. TOTALLY. *rolls eyes* Chattered with him abit. How ironic to only talk to me on the last day. He asked me why i was leaving and stuff. yada yada yada. And he said, "see you again"--even more amusing. Hehe. No thanks =P Oh and that WOMAN'S expression humoured me the most. I didn't realise this until I got on the bus. She looked really angry [at me] actually and I really believed that she missed me already. HAhaHR =P Little thatI realise that, i recalled that she SAW me hugging the boss. OUCH. for her. I wld have given her the opportunity to hug him man. It wasn't sth I wanted anyway!!!!!!! I wldn't vie with her for puke's attention since I know she wld probably DIE for a hug from him, which i cldn't and wldn't even care less. Hah. Anyway, I think I left before I cld suffer her wrath, thankfully=P

Tmr 2 more pple are coming into my dept, not to cover my duties but it's the new boss for the other side and this other person. Don't know who. A trader maybe. And so my seat will be empty for now...:)

END OF STORY. Still sad. I need consolation and a freaking Higher EQ. Sigh.

I need a hug (not from the ex-boss):'(