don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry...

haha...i am laughing at myself. what an idiot. =) yeah. I'll get use to it. maybe i shld just get my heart stabbed a few more times then i'll be immune to it for good. lallalalala~

anyway, i really shld thank God. I am not being sarcastic. but time and again. haha this is the don't umpteenth time my heart my broken. I shld just laugh abt it right. i am already. So. I wish Shu was here. I really do. what the heck am i supposed to say? it's you? i am such a loser can? Need u 2 say?

eh...but on a lighter note I am very happy actually. Am I losing it or am I really in control of it? I am a FREEEEEEEEEEE person!=) lalala~ k lah i admit i sound like a stupid moron right now. but oh well not like ANYONE will care right? so what if i turn my back agst Jesus, no good will come out of it right? So I guess this is the time when I shld follow Him even closer for Love may fade and die away but I know God will always be there for me. So...Thank You Lord, My Saviour.

to tell you the truth, i feel qte screwed right now. twice in a year. Thanks Lord. NOW this is when I feel betrayed. What a freaking LOSER i am.

Crap. I can't stop laughing at myself. Am i really that crappy? ok maybe i am. anyway, where are friends when you need them the most? even my sister is not here to protect me. geez. i shld just shut myself up for another 100 years and not make any human contact at all. Argh.

haha 1/2 hr into the crazy confession we are still talking. THAT is seriously weird and annoying. but not that i wanna end it. I just wanna talk till i am numb to it. to him. to the entire nightmare that is driving me up the wall. sheesh. I really can't stop laughing leh. what scares me most is if whether this is all a disguise. I hope not. i don't think so. I just. Just. me.