My biggest regret is to ever be nice to him. If I hadn't been nice, maybe I wldn't feel so horrible all the time.

I am so disgusted by myself for always complaining abt everything. But I can't help it. The world really is an inhabitable place for me.

I cried all alone during lunch today. Just felt so bad. So dumb. So stupid. So disgusted. So useless. Everyday, I wish I can just disappear into thin air. Pretend that I never existed. Never was part of the earth.

I wonder what it is like to be a bird. Fly everywhere you want. No stress. No need to have a purpose in life. I wake up every morning, wondering what is the purpose of life. Or my life, at least. What is it like to be a goldfish? 3 sec memory. Swim everyday. Simple and easy.

*Pls don't read from here onwards.

How much dosages of sleeping pills does one need to really fall into deep deep sleep?...What if I don't wake up tomorrow morning? Does it mean that I don't have to face the world forever anymore?...