Is death the only way out?

I've been crying for 4 days straight.

I feel so vulnerable.

I've been inflicting self-pain

Because it just feels so bad

That I hardly feel the pain

Even when I am bleeding.

I broke a bowl the day before

And the bowl of uneaten cooked fish fell on the floor

The bowl shattered into a million pieces.

The crashing resounded in my head

And woke me up for a moment

But it didn't change a thing.

I had to wash the entire kitchen myself

Because the fishy smell reeked.

I wished I cld cut myself with those porcelain pieces.

I hadn't had a decent appetite in 4 days.

It just feels so, so, painful

It's gonna be a long, long week...